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by hudsteith, writeyourownlifestory



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, But a lot of fluff as well, Joe is literally an angel here, M/M, More angst than I imagined, Slow burn -ish, Time Travel, a lot of crying, but a lot of angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2020-02-09 23:58:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 44,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18648760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hudsteith/pseuds/hudsteith, https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeyourownlifestory/pseuds/writeyourownlifestory
Summary: Something about the way he talks to him makes Roger believe in him – I mean, nothing makes sense right now, so why he wouldn’t believe on that? “But why would you do that? What makes me special?”He put his hand on Roger’s shoulder, squeezing a bit. “You’re not special. Your love is. A love that crossed time, space and death? Those are rare, so I did what I had to do.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> @unicorndeaky on twitter
> 
> hudsteith on tumblr

Roger didn’t have the same speed as he had decades ago, so the vomit he wanted to throw up on his bathroom sink ended up in the middle of his dining room floor. He didn’t want to throw up, at first. He wanted to swallow it down and handle the situation like a grown man and not a scared little boy.

But the burn he felt when his oldest friend Brian came to his house at 9 am to tell him that John Deacon died was enough to make him sick. He tried not to cry in front of the man and in turn, the violence of holding it all in caused him to throw up instead.

He sat down in a nearby chair, his knees too weak to hold his weight. There were no more reasons to keep the crying now; a gutturaling noise came, raspy and raw, a note that he never heard from himself. Roger felt Brian’s hand on his shoulder, he turned and hugged the other, his face already wet.

“I thought...I thought we could be friends again...Before one of us...” Roger tried, but he couldn’t finish.

“I know, Rog. Me too.” Brian said, and the old Queen drummer noticed he was crying too.

Roger missed John everyday, even when he said he didn’t – even when they fell apart. Now he wouldn’t see him on the Queen business meetings, or receive new photos that John’s kids shared with him, or read John’s annual e-mail wishing him a happy birthday. Small things that make an old man like him smile.

During the hug the childish part of Roger’s brain imagined that all of this was a nightmare, that sooner than later he’d wake up in his bed, because all of this was too horrible to be true. But his senses were all clear, and the mature part of his brain screamed ‘HE’S DEAD!’, started a headache inside Roger’s mind.

Roger lost some friends during his life, one of his best friend died when he was only 42 years old. Sometimes he tries to be rational and think this is part of the life – he’s a biologist, he knows that life has a beginning, a middle and an end; some ends come sooner than others. But only because he knew theoretically that death is inevitable, that didn’t mean it was easy to swallow.

Last week he cried when he remembered Freddie, who’s gone for almost three decades.

And now Death finally took John, the youngest of them. He’d be with Freddie now. A small part of him was glad for that. The two of them had always been so close. He hoped if there truly was an afterlife, the two would be reunited.

“Veronica wanted to know if we want to be in the funeral.” Brian commented, but somehow he knew the answer.

“No! I was at Freddie’s and...I can’t do that again, I . . . please Brian, don’t make me go through that again.” Roger looked to his friend, with pain in his eyes.

“I’d never make you, my friend.” Brian said with a fragile smile.

The Queen guitarist helped Roger to climb the stairs and go to his bedroom, the drummer laid down on his own bed, feeling his sore throat and his eyes burning. His body ached terribly, unable to stop the pain and sorrow that was coursing through him. He punched a pillow with his fist and groaned, the pain aching on his lungs, and Roger started to lose his breath. 

Brian sat down next to him, eyes widened when he saw his friend’s face getting red. “Roger, please, breath. Look at me and copy me.” and the oldest man breathed in and out calmly, waiting for Roger to do the same.

Roger did exactly as Brian, feeling trembling on his toes, but with some minutes his breath got calmer, and the feeling of suffocating stopped. But even though  Brian tried, Roger’s heart was still broken. “We lost Deaky.” and he hid his face with the hands. “I was too stubborn to say those stupid things, to not let him stay close.”

“We all three did stupid things, Roger. Please, don’t do this with yourself.”

“But I-” and Roger shut up. It was too late. It didn’t matter anymore.

•••

The next days were just a blur for Roger. He’s taking pills – painkillers in every meaning of the word – and he had people visiting him: his kids, some friends, his two ex-wives. Brian came every day to check on him, and he knew he talked to them, but Roger didn’t remember a word he said. The feeling of being numb was usual for him decades ago, but he’s an old man right now, so his body wasn’t dealing well with the constant medication. He got weak and passed a couple of days in bed.

His five kids took turns to take care of him, even though he asked them not to, specially Tiger. They didn’t listen to him; his own genes, Roger supposed. Sometimes they chat and make some jokes, just to get a smile from the Queen drummer. He’s lucky, somehow.

These days staying at home made him think more than ever about John. How easy were the earlier days, with soft laughs about anything and hanging out everyday with the same people and not getting tired of it, how much time they spent talking about cars and girls and music and what every word (so few in the beginning) that John said meant to him, how valuable their partnership was, how it made Roger grow as a person and as a man, even though he should be the influence for John based on his age and not the opposite. The crying was getting shortened, but it didn't mean that his heart has stopped aching every time he remembers John’s smile.

After two weeks Roger got stronger enough to go for a ride. He was walking through the front door when Rufus asked “Where are you going, paps?” with a concerned glance.

“I just need to drive. I’m a bit tired of these walls, you know?” Roger took his car keys and showed to him.

“Ok. Just...Don’t do anything stupid.”

Roger looked to his son and gave him a smile. “I’m not stupid. Just unwise.”

He asked Brian the directions to the cemetery John was buried in. Roger thought he was finally ready to do this.

Destiny is a bitch and when the man turned on the radio to listen some music, I Want to Break Free started to play. Of all of John’s songs, he always felt more related to this one, since the first time John showed him the lyrics. The memory of the day got vivid and Roger laughed. “Even death you’ll follow me,” And the song was already over when he arrived at the cemetery.

Breathing quickly became hard task when Roger walked through the place. He was sure until now that he needed to do this, but every step he took made his heart hurt, begging to him to go home and back to bed. Roger couldn’t go back – he’s not a coward.

He easily found John’s grave, and he stopped a few steps away from it, closing his eyes and feeling a cold running on his spine. He could do this, he needs to do this. For John, and mostly for himself.

Opening his eyes again and stepping forward, he saw John’s grave photo, and smiled. It was a photo from the early nineties, with John wearing his giant headphones and holding his bass, smiling. Roger knows that, even when he quit the band, John still liked to play; he retired from Queen, but never from music. In his gravestone was written  ‘Loved husband, caring father, funny grandfather and life-time bass player’. Roger felt the first of many tears rolling over his face.

The gravestone itself was rather plain, but that was to be expected. John, though wild in some ways, was quite reserved in others. Roger never liked thinking about what he’d want his own stone to look like, but his children promised to make it as extravagant as he was. John would want something simple and unnoticeable and that was exactly what his family provided for him.

Denial comes and goes through the days, but right now he couldn’t deny. John was there, six feet under, and his hands were shaking when he touched John’s photo, but he couldn’t see straight because of the tears. For a couple of seconds he felt like he was touching John’s warm cheek.

He felt like he might throw up again. “John...” Roger was shaking, his forehead resting on the grave. “I’m sorry for being so fucking late. I was an idiot for not being brave enough to ask you to stay with me, with Queen. I’d give everything away if I knew we’d end up this way.” His eyes got darker and sadder.

Roger felt drops falling from the sky. Rain was coming up, and he didn't give a fuck. He started too late, but he would finish it.

“I’d do anything to go back to the day I met you and make you fall in love with me...like the way you did, even though you didn’t mean to.” Roger looked again to John’s photo and smiled. “With your shy smile and shining eyes and geek looks. I’d make you feel loved like the way you deserved. Only if I could...”

And somehow, above him, a creature wearing a white outfit, big wings, with red hair and a long nose was watching Roger’s speech. If it had a heart, it’d be glowing.

”I can’t resist a love story! Oh, let’s go!” he smiled, and snapped his fingers.


	2. Chapter 2

He didn’t remember when he fell asleep, it didn't felt like he had slept at all. It felt more like a long blink, but the last thing he saw was himself in a cemitery, and now he was laying in a bed – a very uncomfortable bed.

A disgusting smell came into his nostrils, a mix of cigar, vodca and sweat, and when Roger rolled over his body he softly crushed into someone. Now he had to open his eyes, things were getting very confusing.

The man saw a girl – a very young girl – asleep next to him. She should be Tiger’s age. “Oh, god.” he whispered, to not wake up the stranger. He doesn’t like to date women who have his children's age; he dated an actress once, about twenty years younger than him, but still an adult woman.

And then he heard his own voice. It was way more high and peachy than it usually is.

Roger sits on the bed, starting to feel weird. He isn’t in his own home. The place looks like a vintage flat, with classic rock bands posters all over the room and a box full of vinyls in the corner. The girl could be messy (according to her room), but she has good taste, and Roger smiled. The room seemed a little familiar to him, but he was sure he had never slept with that girl, so he couldn't possibly have been to that place. She really likes vintage style, because the flat really looks like one bedroom flat in the seventies.

The noise of the streets is getting louder, so he assumed it was almost noon, and then a new question came to his mind: what should he do, wait for her to wake up and talk to who the hell she is? Roger wasn’t young anymore, he couldn’t just write a note and leave. Sometimes he even did that, he just slipped out. So he decided to get up and take a shower.

He looked down to his hand when he was uncovering himself and he stopped in the middle of the action. His hand looked soft and lank. He touched it with the other hand. Where’s his wrinkly hands? And where’s his tattoo in his palm? Roger touched his body, looking for more differences: he didn’t have a beard anymore, his hair was long, he didn’t have any tattoos, even in his arm, and his belly wasn’t as big as it was earlier this morning.

A panic crosses his body, and his heart is pounding like crazy. What kind of crazy dream is he experiencing right now? It couldn’t be a dream, because he pitched himself and it hurted. And when he opened his mouth to take deep breaths, another sensation: he tastes nicotine on his tongue, and shivers. _He didn't have a smoke in decades!_

Roger looked over the room, looking for a mirror, and found one in the bathroom, and he ran to there. He felt his head spinning, because any of his discovers in the last ten minutes prepared him for that.

The reflection in the mirror was himself, with probably twenty and some years. His eyes wided and he couldn't feel his legs anymore, so he sat in the sanitary.

What the hell is that? This is some of Brian shit department, he would know what is that, but for Roger it was clueless. It is not possible that he was in the seventies again. He remember the last few hours after this whole craziness started: he ate brazilian crepes with juice in the morning, he heard the news about England trying to getting out from EU, he had a little talk with his son Rufus, he went to a cemitery and said to John’s grave that he has loved John for almost fifty years.

He lived the other decades, that’s for sure, he remembered all the important things that happened through the years. He’s living 2019 and Queen’s movie just came out from the threaters weeks ago. He can not be at the seventies again.

And then he stood up and went out of the bathroom and looked over the room more carefully this time. He recognizes the persiennes in the window and the posters are the same ones he had when he lived in a flat next to his uni, at the seventies. And, walking to the other rooms he saw he was in the exact flat he lived decades ago.

Roger slapped his face twice. “I’m going mad because John died. This must be a delirium.” he said, with his eyes closed. This is too much for him.

The phone starts to ring, snapping Roger out. It had rung four times when Roger finally had the nerve to answer. “H-Hello?” his voice never sounded so scared.

“Roger, mate, where the hell are you? We are waiting just for you.” a familiar voice spoke.

“Brian?” Roger was shaking, and his heart was about to pull out of his chest.

“Of course is me. You should come to the pub near to your flat today, for the audition, remember?” Brian’s voice was tired. Back then Roger wasn’t a pontual guy.

His head wasn’t in the right place, and a simple sentence like this one was incomprehensible for him. “What?”

Roger heard someone talking to Brian and the phone being handed to the other person, and a annoying voice talked “Darling, just forget about the girl you shagged last night and come down here, or for the love of Me I’ll find another drummer.”

A watery smile crossed Roger’s lips. He missed this voice so fucking much, even the annoying tone. “Freddie.”

“That’s my name, so please get your skinny ass here.” and he hang off.

A million of thoughts passed through Roger’s mind, making him feel dizzy. He just fucking heard Freddie’s voice. He heard him millions of times, in his dreams, but it was never the true voice of the frontman, it was like a distorced radio out of tune. But this time he heard Freddie’s voice just right, just like it used to be.

He needs to see with his own eyes. He needs to have a proof that he isn’t insane.

So Roger took a shower and changed his clothes, as fast as he could. Every minute he wasted everything could fade away and he would be back to the sadness his life was right now. He was buttoning his trousers when he heard a humming, and he looked to the bed. The girl was waking up, her body still naked. “Hi.”

She is pretty hot, but he had more important things to do. “Hi. I wish we could talk, but I’m really late. Band audition.”

“Should I wait for you?” she gave a cute smile.

Roger used to promise things he shouldn’t. “Just write your number and I give you a ring later.” he didn’t even wait for her response and just ran out.

The pub is in two blocks down his flat, and Roger used to like there because it was close to his flat, for being more easy and quick to go to his bed and have sex with someone. And because Roger and his friends were there very often the pub owner hired them for some gigs.

He didn’t need to run, the pub was just some meters from the flat, but the anxiety made him walk faster, and he knew the air is getting shorten in his lungs. But he didn’t care; he’d breath after to sees the evidence, after he sees...

“Freddie!” Roger yelled when he passed through the pub door. After that he needed to sit down.

The blond found the nearest booth and sat. A burning on his chest got more evidence now that he stopped to run, and he needed to breathe through his mouth, putting a hand on his abs. He used to be pretty sedentary in the seventies (his only activities were sex and playing drums) and smoking didn’t help. His eyes were closed and he tried to control his breathing.

“Why did you run, Rog? The pub isn’t far away from where you live.” Freddie said.

His friend’s voice made Roger open his eyes again. His body gets fulled of the nostalgia of the years they spended together. They always were close, until the very end, and Freddie used to make the blond smile so easily; the man exudes all good feelings in a flamboyant style. Right now Freddie was wearing a furry coat (that Roger was almost sure was actually his) and a hat. Watching a friend that he cried his death over for years was too much for him.

So Roger walked towards Freddie and hugged him. Tight. The oldest man had to hold his hat or it’d have fallen.

Roger missed the contact, to be close to Freddie and to smell him. Yeah, Freddie had a unique smell that the drummer never figure if he liked it until he couldn't smell it anymore. He could feel the tears coming down, and he didn’t fight. He missed Freddie Mercury as hell. It’s like missing a body member: no matter how much you get used to the loss, you always will miss it.

But, to the other part of the hug, the PDA was just weird. “Roger, calm down.”

“I just missed you, Freddie.” Roger pulled back and grabbed Freddie’s arms, smiling softly to him.

“We saw each other last night, dear.” Freddie tilted his head, amused.

“Felt like forever.”

“Ok, are you doing drugs, Rog? Brian, your blond friend is smoking pot again!” Freddie exclamed the last part.

Roger looks away from Freddie just for a few seconds and saw a young version of his longest friend, smirking with Freddie’s joke, and Roger smiled at him. “What did we said about this, Roger? Pot makes you needy and childish, and I don’t want to babysit you again.” Brian stood next to them, and Roger touches his hair, caressing his curlies. “Are you still high?”

“I just like to do that. Your hair is fluffy.” Roger sounds high, indeed.

“Okay, how about we sit over there and make the audition for the new bassist?” Freddie pointed to the small stage the pub had.

Roger looked to where he was pointing. Finally he recalls what Brian said minutes ago to him. They had an audition for a new bassist. He saw the calendary hanging over the bar when he was hugging Freddie – 1971.

A new bassist.

Not far away from where they were there was a tall guy with long brown hair holding a bass, and even from where he was standing Roger could see him smiling shyly.

_John_ , thought Roger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The whole Roger's grief process will be explored during the whole fic, don't worry  
> I hope you did see that I mentioned our sweet Sarina, but only as a ex girlfriend (sorry again)


	3. Chapter 3

Roger felt like he was frozen in time when John’s eyes fell onto him. Even from distance he could feel the effect the man had on him. His mouth was dry and his heart skipped a beat when he saw the shine of John’s grayish green eyes over the group.

He would never forget how beautiful he was when they first met. Gorgeous slim frame, beautiful glimmering eyes. His fashion sense was casual but it would grow over time, especially with Freddie’s influence.

He remember precisely John’s audition for Queen. Roger was amazed with his bass skills, with daft fingers, brilliant riffs and envyous focus. The drummer felt like John got to another world – his own little world – when he plugged the bass. It was quite wonderful to watch, and he was the first to say he must be missing piece of Queen. Freddie and Brian agreed quickly enough and before anyone knew it, the band of three was officially a band of four.

The thrill he felt that day was overwhelming him, like an internal tsunami, and his blue eyes shined on John’s direction, not losing him of his sight. He couldn’t look away. He felt as though if he even dared to blink, the man would vanish.

“You all right Rog?” Brian asked curiously. Roger was staring now, probably looking to John like a mad man. Staring at him with an unwavering gaze.

Roger remembered that he isn’t alone in this space, that Brian and Freddie are there too, and, on their point of view, his drummer is staring like a creeper to a young man he never knew. But it’s stronger than him; he couldn’t pretend he’s looking to a nobody, like this audition it’d be an ordinary one. Right now he’s seeing the love of his life, John Richard Deacon, the person who hunts his dreams since he’s twenty-one, who until hours ago...

He forgot how to breathe, and he could feel his lips trembling. “I-I need...Excuse me.” Standing to his feet, Roger shuffled away from the group and off to the nearest rest room.

Thank God the bathroom was close and Roger could close the door, because his eyes were red and he needed to muffle his mouth to strangle the screaming that’s coming on his throat. It doesn’t matter how much the muscle ask to release the pain inside him, Roger couldn’t let anyone knows he’s crying. And this point he didn’t understand what’s the meaning of the tears. Maybe a mix of the crazy situation he’s living in that moment.

He’s going to audition a man he ksnew for fourty-eight years and he’s dead. Oh, and for him Roger isn’t a long-term friend and is like it’ll be their first meeting ever.

“He’s dead.” Roger repeated, like a way to comprehend how unrealistic the whole thing is. How could John be dead if he’s standing in the stage, waiting for him? How could he’s nineteen again? _How Roger ended up there again?_

Roger fell dramatically over the door, sitting on the floor, trying to shut down all the nonsense was in his head. It looked like a movie plot or a novel, not real life. Too fantastic to be real, and even that he loves drama, it’s over the top for him. The drummer pitched again, now stronger than earlier, and he hissed. Bizarely awake.

He feels selfish to feel an unbareable pain for John as he never felt for Freddie. His friend’s an important part of his life and he was there in every step of Queen (even when Queen was still Smile), and everything he has and he was he thanked for Freddie. Without him Queen wouldn’t be half of the giagantic locomotive it was and still is. Freddie Mercury was a mentor, a friend and a partner. But John...John was the reason he woke up every morning, just to see his eyes; he desired to be a better man to deserve him, even that he never had the guts to express his feelings; having John on his life was as fundamental as drinking water and breathe; Roger didn’t give up on life when Freddie passed because of him.

Freddie was his brother; John was his soulmate.

He used one hand to stop the other’s shaking – his body was showing how heavy this journey was being for him. He didn’t know how he didn’t have a heart attack already; he passed through many emotions in a short amount of time. Roger never used breathing exercises so much in his entire life and in this moment nothing could scare him.

A knock makes Roger aware again. “Are you feeling okay, mate?” Brian asked, over the door.

“Yeah. Just a little hangover.” Roger cleaned the tears on his face, trying to sound as someone who wasn’t crying his heart out in a couple of minutes ago.

“We need to start this, Roger. Everyone has other things to do after this.” Brian added, shuffling away with a bang on the door.

Roger understood he needed to find the answers about how he went back, but this could be after the audition, so he stood up the floor and saw himself in the mirror. His nose was still a bit red and his face a little turgid, but he’s approachable, so he went out the bathroom.

No matter how many years Roger had stayed in there, he’d never be prepared to walk into John’s direction. Every part of Roger screamed to smile foolish for the bass player, but he couldn’t; _we’re strangers to each other, remember_ , thought Roger, and he used all his strength to be neutral while he got closer. He could feel his toes curly in excitment, and these were the only parts of his body he allowed to express freely. John remained shy as Roger walked.

Now Roger aknowlegde every inch of John’s features, more than ever, maybe because he’s giving more attention for every small thing – _nadie sabe lo que tiene hasta que al final lo pierde_. If before he loved to remind even the curve of the other’s smile, probably he’d be drunk in love only for seeing him breathing. All the irreperable romantic side of his must be silented.

“John Deacon, my dear, this is our stupidly late drummer, Roger Taylor. Roger, this is John Deacon, the wanna-be bass player.” Freddie made the introductions.

“Nice to meet you, Roger.” John extended his hand, politely smiling.

Roger saw his hand for some seconds, fully knowing he should shake John’s hand, but he’s afraid he could push John closer and kiss him out of nowhere if he touch John.

All the years he dreamed on feel the brunette’s lips were drowning him in a urgent desire, and maybe he’d be too sensitive over an innocent hand-shaking.  
John batted his eyes, and his glance is now a confused one. Roger had to hold his need a little more.

“Hi.” and Roger gave an awkward smile, showing all his teeth. 

“So, finally, we can start. Right, Rog?” asked Freddie, looking to his friend while he sits next to him.

“Mhm.” Roger though that speak could be risky right now.

“Show us what you got, John.”

John played some notes to tune his bass, and when it’s ready, the brunette gave a quick nod and started to play. Some songs he knew, adding some bass riffs he created. He never looked up, too focused on playing, maybe a way to avoid the anxiety Roger knew the bass player always had.

Freddie and Brian shared some glances during the audition, looking they liked what they’re listening, but Roger was far away. Watch John’s audition one time was beyond amazing, but watch this treasure twice? He knew how lucky he was. Seeing him fingering those strands with precision and ability amazed the blond since the first time, and he knew John’s the right choice for Queen, he never doubt that.

Even not showing much, John always knew how talent he is, and he didn’t have the need to say out loud, but thanked when someone complamented him. One of his biggest fans was Roger, who liked to hype John up everytime he looked at him in a concert, and he was the first person who said 'well done' after the show. His admiration for John wasn’t just because he’s in love with him, but – besides this – Roger knew the great musician he is.

And trying to look imparcial while his loved one was playing like a bass god is one of the hardest tasks Roger ever received in his whole existence.

Freddie raised his hand, asking John to stop, and the young man finished, looking to them with a quiet flutter. Roger wanted to walk and hug him so badly, and he thought it’d be better not to trust his legs, so he punched them without the others see.

“That was...nice, to say at least, dear.” comments Freddie, and he looks to Brian, expecting that his friend say something.

“I liked very much.” Brian nods, emphasazing what he said, and looks to Roger.

He’s still afraid that his mouth say more than he should, but three pairs of eyes are on him, so he coughed before to just say “Bloody amazing.” and John smiled.

Roger doesn’t resist and smiles back. That was the smile that made Roger fall for John: the gentle one, a modest up of John’s thin lips, that makes you want to know him more, to jump into the serenity that John exhales. Roger knew how doomed he was since the first time he smiled back to John. There’s no turning back, and he never turned back, of course.

The drummer is still zoomed out when Brian says to John they will contact him until three days and thanks him for his time. He only comes back when Brian and Freddie are commenting the audition.

“I like this kid. He looks alright, not a selfish person, right?” Freddie said, looking to Brian.

“But he’s nineteen! Probably still learning how to deal with uni and adult stuff, Freddie.” Brian sounds concerned.

“Roger isn’t that much older and he’s barely even going to class!” Freddie argued. “He clearly doesn’t look like a baby, does he, Rog?” Freddie turns to Roger.

“What?” Roger blinks, going back to Earth. John was no where to be seen.

Roger didn’t care for the debate, so without another word to the others, he got up off his chair and hurried out of the pub.

He ran out into the street, searching for the man. He had to tell him the truth. That they weren’t strangers, but rather they exist opposite. That whatever world they were living in, whatever alternate universe this was, they knew one another.

Roger didn’t know if this was their second chance or if he was in a strange little version of heaven but it didn’t matter. Roger didn’t want to waste anymore time.

Roger searched around, finding himself alone on the street with John nowhere in sight.

“Not your best idea, buddy.”

Roger turned, finding another man standing beside him. His hair was red and his outfit was white. He was leaning so very casually against a light post.

“Let’s chat, shall we?” The man asked, his brown eyes shimmering,

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Nadie sabe lo que tiene hasta que al final lo pierde" = You don't know what you have until you lose it.


	4. Chapter 4

Roger gazes to the man. He’s wearing an plain white shirt and jeans, bare feet, and his smile is too...friendly. Like he’s about to hug you, whether you like it or not. “Sorry, mate, but do I know you?”

“No, but I know you.” he says with a melodic voice.

The drummer would love to chat with a fan, but right now he needs to talk with John. That’s what matters to him. 

“Ok, mate, but I need-” and the blond passes through him, but he got cut by the man.

“Roger Meddows-Taylor, born at July 26 on 1949, has in the future five kids, Felix, Rufus, Lola, Tiger and Rory, and has a huge crush on his long-term bandmate John Richard Deacon.” the man says too fast, like he doesn’t need to breath. And Roger looks back to him. “Is this got your attention, _Rainbow_?"

“What the-” He hears a snap and now he’s in another place. Roger looks around and he sees nothing, just a endless empty room. There’s no walls, or floor or ceiling, just a white universe – white as the man’s clothes.

“-FUCK!”

“Pretty great, right?” the man looks delighted with Roger’s exclamation. “Some of us calls it ‘void’, others ‘purgatory’. I just call ‘Blank Space’, like that Taylor Swift’s song”.

“Who the hell are you? Where we are? How you know me? What is hap-”

“Hey, mate, slow down!” he raised his hands, trying to calm down Roger. And he giggled. “’Mate’. What a funny british word. ‘Mate’”.

“Answer my questions!”

The ginger man just rolled his eyes and exhaled. When he did that, a pair of wings appeared on his back, big and magestic wings, and the man just crossed his arms, a sassy smile growing. 

Roger wided his eyes, and he couldn’t speak. Maybe he’ll never be able to speak again. 

“Yes, I’m an angel. We don’t have names here, but I like the name Joe, so you can call me that.” Joe started to walk around a speechless Roger, his wings swinging lazily. “As I said, we are in the Blank Space, a place between nowhere and somewhere. And” the angel stopped walking when he’s in front of the blond. “I know you because I saw your speech on John Deacon’s grave. So I wanted to help you.”

“To help me?”

“You said you’d do anything to go back and make him fall in love for you, so I gave you a second chance, Roger.” Joe smiled mischeviously, like a pesky child.

Roger didn’t know what to say. Even in his wildest dreams he’d never expect to have a conversation with an angel about his love life. In an blank space. Joe looked so much like a human, but the wings were too visible to Roger forget them. That’s too much information, and he had a hunch he’ll throw up when he go out of there. 

“Let me understand this: it was you that made me go back to 1971?” Roger asked slowly, as a way the sentence doesn’t sound too ridiculous. Impossible.

“Yes, sir.” Joe strongly nodded, proud of himself.

Something about the way Joe talks to him makes Roger believe in him – I mean, nothing makes sense right now, so why he wouldn’t believe on that? “But why would you do that? What makes me special?”

Joe put his hand on Roger’s shoulder, squeezing a bit. “You’re not special. Your love is. A love that crossed time, space and death? Those are rare, so I did what I had to do.”

The angel’s answer warms the blond’s heart, and he smiles to Joe. He had an idea that something about his feelings were remarkable – they are still there after two marriages and five kids – but he never imagined how much they could do for him. Either way Roger ever felt greatful for love someone so strongly and truly that nothing (even death) made the feeling disappear from his heart – maybe being pinned wasn’t really needed for him, because he could love for them both.

And, when his life was miserable and colorless, he found help. Actually, help found him, to be fair.

A freaking angel got to his side to this love rise. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, I only took you back. You still have to make John fall in love for you.”

“What?” Roger shouts. “I thought...I thought that everything was already done!”

“What, that I made John falls for you?” and he sees Roger nodding. “Buddy, I’m an angel, I’m not God! I already made the almost hardest part, now go conquer him!”

Roger puts his hands on his head. He didn’t expect that. Joe did a thing, but not the whole thing – he didn’t want to complain, but is who he is. “How I suppose to make him fall in love for me?”

“I don’t know. You’re famous for being handsome.” Joe tilts his head, looking contemplative to the drummer. “Not really my type.”

“Maybe he’s not even into guys!”

Joe laughed, shaking his shoulders. “Roger, please. He’s so into guys that even I, an asexual creature, feel his vibes.”

Roger shook his head. No, it’s not possible. He passed all these years believing that he never would have a chance with John. Even Freddie said that Deaks was ‘too straight’ to have a female nickname. Roger never made a real move on John (despiste some harmless flirting) because he thought he wouldn’t never have a true shot. The only justification is that John could have locked his desire so deeply is that maybe he’s too afraid that Queen wouldn’t go high because the band have two gay men. But actually there’s three. 

Joe waited patiently for Roger finish his thoughts, and he saw the human look to him again. “I can help you with small things, like get you two alone in the studio or something, but I can’t play with John’s feelings. You must earn them.” the angel said, and Roger nodded. 

“Did you not break any law of the above to make me coming back there, right?” he questioned, imagining that a God could be pissed with the angel.

“Do you really care, Roger?” Joe raised an eyebrow, amused.

“No much, but still.”

“Do you wanna go back down there?”

Roger still has a billion of questions, specially a really tricky one about the Chaos Theory, but according Joe’s tone he wouldn’t have the answers now. He can’t bother the angel much, because he is helping him a lot. And because he imagine that Joe will be a constant presence in his life for now on.

The drummer just answers Joe’s question with a nod, and when the angel raised his hand to snap again Roger asks “A last question: if you’re an angel, and this probably means you don’t have a nationality, why you have an american accent?”

“I like USA.” Joe shrugged. “Their president sucks, but at least they have the Yankees.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Joe so much!


	5. Chapter 5

Joe transported Roger to his flat again, and maybe was the travel or the avalanche of information that makes him run to the bathroom and vomit. The fact that a freaking angel did all this with him isn’t helping at all.

Thank God the girl wasn’t there anymore.

He cleans himself and runs some water over his face, looking again to the mirror. Young face again, and Roger moves his smooth and pointed cheekbones just to see their motion, looking to his teeth and lips. _Fucking insane_. The blond passes his hands over his own body, trying to believe it’s there, that everything is real. If he pinch himself again he could bleed out his arm.

Roger goes to his living room and sits on his couch, staring half amazed, half terrified to everything. He’s back there – he could live all there again! All the excitement of see Queen getting famous, all the parties with weird and interesting people, all the small talks during the rehearsals with Freddie, Brian and John...

John. He saw him again, with nineteen years old, looking like a outsider boy, with his non-rock star looks. That’s the very first Roger’s thought when he saw John for the first time. Bassist n. 7 is a weird smart kid, just like Brian, but Brian always had a rock ‘n’ roll attitude; John doesn’t. 

He’s just a guy who likes to play the bass and to mess around with some other guys and making music to ordinary people on pubs during a Friday night. John Deacon is a complete accidental rock star. But he changed the drummer’s mind when he played with such perfection that Roger let slide that fact he doesn’t fit in that aspect.

The second thought that passed through Roger’s mind was that John had good looking. Not in a sexual way but he thought that, and in that moment he didn’t care with it. Didn’t hurt anyone that he thought the potential bandmate had kind eyes and pretty lips. And for some months this didn’t bother Roger, because for him it wasn’t important. Freddie and Brian were pretty as well and it didn’t mean he had a thing for them.

The weeks and months passed when Roger noted that John still didn’t felt included, being awkward at moments outside the rehearsals or the gigs, like he didn’t belong there, and that other three really didn’t want to hang out with him. This hurt Roger, because he knew how odd it was when you’re the new guy, when everyone is already fit in the band, and for someone shy and introspective as John it must be worse because he’d never complain to them, so he decided to call John to watch a movie.

That was the first time of many meetings they did only the two of them – Roger would love to share those moments with Freddie and Brian too, but Roger and John were the young ones, and they had so much in common, so he felt that naturally they should had a moment just to themselves. And this could help John to be more confident to talk with the main singer and guitar player of Queen. Roger couldn’t hide his smiles when he’s with John; when he starts to trust in him John becomes more funny and makes sarcastic jokes and teasing, and of course Roger played along with the bass player.

As much as Roger tried many times, during the years, to find the exact moment he fell in love for John, he never found out when. But it’s simple: John never did anything too amazing or sublime to capture his heart, but he did small things. So small that Roger never noted how they warmed his heart enough to alert him. This is John Richard Deacon – someone that steals your heart so sneakily that when you figure out he’s already the owner, strong enough to not give it back. And you don’t want to take it back.

Remember the way he likes his tea, dance around the stage and smirking during drums solos, bring soap when he’s sick, trying to help him to study to his exams (even that Biology is way far his major), pick up some fights because someone called Freddie ‘paqui’ or ‘faggot’ on gigs, always have a nice word to say to him even during his tantrums. And bit by bit John was getting inside Roger’s heart; no asking permission, silently making to himself a room, bigger than the day before. It’s stupid how long he took to realize his own feelings – not that Roger was the most emotionally aware person of the planet (he wasn’t even the most one on his band), but how they could get caged for so long? Quiet as John, his actions doomed Roger.

But Roger remembered indeed the day he realized his lifetime sina. It’s like yesterday, how clear was in memory: Roger fell asleep in John’s flat during band meeting – it was raining, so he felt cozy enough to take a nap. But when he woke up, his head was resting on someone’s lap, and the drummer felt finger caressing his hair, sometimes softly touching his ear, and he looked up. John was watching a discussion between Freddie and Brian, amused with something the blond didn’t understand, and the other’s move made him look down, and John gave that smile. A soft and gentle one, that Roger wants to believe was only given to him, the one that made be unable to think correctly. Roger always was good to reply quickly, but in that moment he didn’t know what to do, so he just rested that, looking like a buffoon to the pair of grayish green eyes.

The realization that day made him storm out and go to his flat without saying goodbye to his mates. Or he could do something stupid, like kiss John, even that on his mind this wasn’t stupid at all. No, on Roger’s mind John pushed him to the wall and kissed him angrily, planting love bites over his neck and explored all his body with his fingers, not being shy with the touches and squeezes, and just the thought of being under his ministrations made the drummer lost his breath.

Until Roger feel remotely comfortable with his feelings for John it took weeks, passing through them drunk or avoiding him. None of his bandmates tried to understand what the hell the man was struggling – because most of the times it’s for something nonsense or some bird – and Roger really appreciated, because he wouldn’t feel good to lie or either to tell the truth to them, specially to John. He couldn’t handle with the face he’d do to him; he knew the bass player would never beat him or anything, but he probably would walk away from him and it’d destroy their friendship.

So he thought it’d be the best shut this feelings down, try to not show them as much as he could. But he knew he wouldn’t be so discreet and subtle as he wanted – being quiet about his desires never was his mark. At some point he would take a bit away, like when John changed clothes or kissed someone in front of him, but his mates never said a word about it, so perhaps he’s covered.

Roger tried so hard to stop the patetic need to be with John, in every meaning of the word, but how much he tried, more he failed, because it’s already part of his existence – like breathing – and he couldn’t find a way to stop this. When he’s tired enough to fight with himself, he surrendered and embraced the love. And when he did that life was way more easy; of course he still needed to hide it from everyone what he felt, but he wasn’t his own enemy anymore. He accepted to smile when he remembered about John’s cute dimples or to jack off without feeling bad with himself.

When he finally accepted his fate be around John was better, because he could appreciate their time together, so he listened to every word the brunette said with attention and caring, he back him up more than before in band discussions, every touch or glance they shared had more affection for Roger than ever, and every John’s victory looked like a personal one. He learned to be more empathic and less selfish; a giant change for him, but how he couldn not change being around John? Receiving a smile from him was a reward enough to pass through the day.

Being secretly in love for someone for so long also means, of course, getting hurt a bunch of times. He broke his drums kit the day John introduced Veronica to him; he yelled over his pillow when he read ‘You’re my Best Friend’ lyrics for the first time; he cried for hours when Robert Deacon born and he saw his parents’ proud smiles; he punched walls everytime the bass player shagged a groupie on the hotel, making him hear all the moans and screams. But the worst was at 1997: he locked himself on his room when John said he’d quit from Queen.

After Freddie’s passing the atmosphere between the other three was getting thick without having the person who cleared the air. So, inevitably, John said it’d be better to the band if he just step away. Roger knew what this would make with their relationship (inevitably, again): John would go away from Roger and Brian until a point they’d be no longer the friends they’d been once. Just with that crossing his mind made Roger faint and he didn’t allow anyone to see him at home. That week was terrible and one of his darker moments, his eyes aching from crying.

He did and said things he shouldn’t when he’s possessed by anger, and John personally called Roger after a pretty sharp interview. Stabbing the drummer with a real knife would hurt less than the words John said to him.

His relationship with Veronica remained intact, even that less intimate, and Roger’s kids got along with John’s, and when his ‘nephews’ got older they talked more with the drummer. Cameron liked to inform him a lot about John, even that Roger never asked him to, but he thanked him anyways.

_Oh, shit, his kids!_

Roger gets up from the couch, putting his hands over his mouth. He lost his five children! He isn’t some genius about this crap, but if he is there to be with John, that means he won’t marry Dominique or Debbie. That means they won’t have kids together. Felix, Lola, Tiger, Rory and Rufus will never be alive.

This can’t be right – he needs his children! “JOE!” yelled Roger, calling the angel. He needs to clarify this with the creature. He can’t ask Roger _to choose_ between John and his kids – is way too cruel.

Roger yelled a couple of times more until he realized that it’s not like that; Joe will show up when he want, not when Roger need. But this will be the first question he’ll do when the angel appear again to him.

Finally he felt his body getting tired, so he crawled to his bed and immediately dozen off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The angst is finally starting.


	6. Chapter 6

Roger knew how stupidly happy he’s looking to Freddie, laughing hard with every stupid comment the friend said to him or when the oldest one made a face for him. His eyes weren’t still used to see Freddie’s profile again. 

The blond remembers when they met each other: Freddie introduced himself as a Smile fan and ascendent singer; Roger meanly laughed at the last part – Freddie was already too flamboyant in that time, not to mention his teeth (Roger regrets to say that out loud to his friend). But as soon they got closer, the drummer saw how fantastic and amazing Freddie was, with his contagious ambition and cheerful mood. Freddie always knew who he wanted to be and how far he could go, and he wasn’t afraid to fail. Roger always loved this in Freddie. 

And when Tim left Smile and Freddie joined in the band, changing its name to Queen, Roger left they could be big, like he never felt before – and when John finally came to them the drummer had one hundred percent sure. The energy the Freddie had was pure music and enthusiasm, like he was meant to be Freddie Mercury, the fucking legend. And he was. 

Even in the early days, when everything was complicated and tough and Brian and Roger almost gave up, Freddie never let them do it, reminding them that they had a gift, that they were pretty good together and they shouldn’t waste what they had being a teacher or working in a lab or something. Even that Brian was pretty damn proud of his academic life, he agreed, as Roger. 

That bitch was pretty good at convincing people to do what he wanted. 

And, speaking of which, Roger was in the small box clothing shop Freddie and him started to help them with expenses. The blond really forgot how clautrosphobic was their shop, but in that time it was nice, and Mary helped a lot when she wasn’t on her own work. Freddie liked to please their customers with some juice and candy, dancing around and singing. Most of them liked Freddie’s style – the motherfucker was always charming, sometimes way more than Roger. Outrageous. 

But today they still don’t have a customer, so they are just chatting about John’s audition. Roger didn’t have an excuse to his behavior after the audition, and Freddie was too polite to not ask him, thankfully. 

“I think this can be the one.” Freddie says, dreamy. “We need to finally settle down with a bass player.” 

_He is the one_ , thinks Roger, trying not to put a cheesy smile on his face. “Yes, I know.” 

“And he didn’t look like the previous bassists. I mean, I highly doubt he would bring himself into a fight, or to argue with us.” 

Roger needs to stay his face straight, because he remember how John worked: he never liked to get into a discussion, he rather to stay quiet to wait to his mates to calm down and come to a settle, but when he really needed to expose his thoughts he did, in a way he made everyone around regrets the day they got born. “The quiet ones were always the worse.” he remembers that Brian said that once. 

“Do you think you should keep him, Rog?” asks Freddie, thoughtful. 

Roger tries hard to not imagined how his life could be without John, or maybe Joe could think his thoughts and send him to another universe when he never be friends with John. 

John being dead was bad, but Roger not sharing the best days of his life with the brunette would be a fucking agonizing nightmare. 

“We definitly should.” smiles Roger, giving a strong nod. “I think we should too.” and Freddie smiles back to him, and sparkles flies on his eyes.   
  
“I can already imagine the four of us playing at all the amazing places, like Wembley and Madison Square.” 

Roger adored how Freddie liked to think forward, no letting the moral of his bandmates down. He knew he was a star, and he wanted to make things get real. They are together when Bohemian Rhapsody became a hit and they hugged so tight they fell on the floor. 

The years passed and their friendship got stronger, Freddie helping Roger with his temper and Roger holding back Freddie when people got racist and homophobic with him. They know their bright side and their dark side, and they had a connection that Roger never had with the other two – Brian and John knew and respected that. Roger was family to Freddie, the brother he never had, and Roger finally had a someone to share his great dreams of fame. 

They understood each other. 

And Roger knew, deep down, Freddie knew about him and his feelings for John. The drummer captured some stares from him, looking to him and then to John and back to him, but Freddie never minded. And he didn’t confront him when he marry Dominique, even that Roger was in love for someone else. Freddie waited for Roger to talk to him, but respected that he never did. 

The darkness of Freddie’s loneliness was felt for Roger when they looked into each other’s eyes. Every crazy party, every partner, every high Roger was there to watch Freddie trying to find someone or something to fill him up. He wrote so many songs about his exhausting searching for love, and even that Freddie tried to pretending he’s okay, Roger always knew when he wasn’t. The drummer saw his friend getting into violent relationships just because the person gave him a drop of affection; it’s hurtful to watch. Roger knew that even with Jim the sadness didn’t leave him; it’s part of who Freddie was, the edipian wound that never healed. 

Freddie gave to Roger the confidence to make his solo albums, and helped as much as he helped Freddie with his. They know each other’s potencial and supported to rise it. They could disagree about a bunch of things, specially about music – their battles in the studio were epic – but they never let this mess up their friendship. They know how much their value.   
“I’ll call Brian to come over, so we can agree about John.” Freddie says, putting Roger back on Earth. 

Roger hums, agreeing. While Freddie goes to the phone to call Brian, Roger takes a time to look the clothing. They two always liked fashion and they thought selling clothes would be a nice way to meet people and to get some cash. 

Most of the clothes they had was Roger’s and sometimes he liked some shirt so much that he never let anyone buy it. Thinking of what is fashion in the new century, Roger reminds how he missed the 70s fashion. Too tight, but still more reasonable. 

He had so many memories in that shop, with the band, with some friends he made when he was there, and some romances as well. At these days, everything was so fresh and easy, when his biggest worry was his flat rent. Roger missed the 70s – even with all the bullshit about war and hate and his secret love for his bandmate, he was happy there. 

“Brian said he will be here soon.” says Freddie, going next to Roger. 

And they passed the next minutes this way: Freddie humming a new song and writing it down, and Roger looking to him doing it. Roger loved to see Freddie’s writing process; he used his whole body to it, first swinging his hands and arms, to after tapping his foot and then started to dancing to feel the rhythm. It’s always chaotic, but it’s Freddie, so nothing was really absurd. 

The bell at the shop door ringed, and Brian showed up, looking pretty tired. “I hope is important, Freddie, because I left my uni paper unfinished to come here.”

“Did you not say to him about this is about?” Roger laughs when Freddie nods. So typical of him. 

“Well, my dear, we need to talk about John.” Freddie gives an adorable smile to Brian, who just rolls his eyes. 

“I can’t believe you made me run over here to this. We could meet at night to do this!” Brian looked really angry. Roger knew how much he care about his education. 

“Don’t be so harshy, mate. We all are already here, so let’s talk, alright?” Roger felt the urge to calm down the situation. He remembered that Brian cried many times because he fought with Freddie about small things in the past, and he don’t want that this Brian feel the same. 

“Ok. So what you two think by far?” asked Brian, more calm. 

“Well, I think he’s amazing...He’s nineteen and he knows pretty good how to play bass” and Freddie sees Brian opening his mouth to argue, so he quickly adds “and if you say that he’s too young, I will quit!” he says dramatically, crossing his arms and looking away from the guitar player. Roger giggled. 

“What about you, Roger? I think you really liked him.”

“What? Why you think that?” Roger’s voice got higher than usual. 

“You ran to talk to him!” 

Roger needed to think fast – he didn’t matter if his mates knew about his feelings for John, but it’d be weird to know this before they knew about the time travel. And to this they needed Brian, Freddie and John together. “I just zoomed out when he left and I thought it’d be rude to not say goodbye.” 

“I never saw you being so thoughtful.” Freddie’s amused, and Roger’s cheeks gets red. Other bassists were shit and I knew since their auditions. 

And I think Deaks is pretty damn good.” Roger smiles, remembering the audition. 

“His nickname is ‘Deaks’?” Freddie frowns. 

Shit, he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. 

“Well, he needs one, if he will join the band.” Roger swallows hard, trying to be convincing. 

“I like it.” 

When it was only the three of them, Roger felt something was missing. First he thought it was a good song, to make it their brand mark. After he thought it was an album, to make them blow. But, in the end, he realized the needed a bassist. At least a good one. 

Not that the other six before John weren’t good bass players – some of them were acceptable, but none of them had a special element. Brian had a soft yet powerful guitar solos, Roger had his attitude behind the drums (what could be seen even back in the stage) and Freddie had himself, and explained pretty much. They three were great musicians, even at the early days, and they knew they had a great chemistry in the stage. But the bassists who played with them didn’t. 

Some disagreements about the music style, or about tempo, and even one didn’t like that Freddie fancies men. Many of things made six bassists passed to Queen and go away, and actually Roger didn’t care. Rhythm section is important to the band and he couldn’t carry everything alone. He needed a good bassist. 

And they found it. A shy, sarcastic and cute bassist. Thank God they found him. 

“I will wait to call him tomorrow. He’s probably at uni now and I don’t want to call him at night.” stated Brian. 

“I was wondering what is John’s sign, so I can put in our new band logo.” Freddie taps his index finger on his jaw. “I bet he’s a Cancer or a Pisces.” 

“That’s what’s in your mind right now? Unbelievable.” Brian shakes his head. 

“Ugh. I hope he’s not a Cancer. One is enough.” teased Freddie, making Brian giggle. 

Roger smiles looking to them. He knew that, doesn’t matter how big was the fight and how words was said, in the end they always were together, looking out for each other. Until the very end. 

The bell rings again, and Freddie smiles to great the costumer. “Finally! Hello, dear, how...Wow, what a coincidence!” 

Brian and Roger look to the costumers. Freddie is talking to a blond girl and a brunette guy. The guy is smiling to Freddie, enjoying to see a familiar face. 

Roger looks to the ceiling, imagining that Joe was right there, creating one of many ‘casual’ encounters for him and John, and he smiles. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to see your comments about the chapter :)))

“John, how wonderful to meet you again!” Freddie sings, gently patting John’s arm.

Roger and Brian go to the other three, and when John sees them he gives a gentle smile, the drummer waving to the brunette. 

He’s getting used with the fact John was young again, and how gorgeous he was. His introspective posture, the way he tilts his head when he’s listening Freddie and the small giggle when his friend comment something, all goes hard to Roger’s eyes and makes him lose his breath, because John’s presence around him is too intense for him.

“How did you guys know about our wonderful shop?” asks Freddie, showing to them small puffs to sit.

“My friend Mary said that his boyfriend has a clothing shop so I wanted to meet, and I dragged John with me.” says the young woman, smiling.

“How delightful! Now go on, try some clothes, I have some pieces in my mind already for you.” Freddie smiles and pushes her by the hand to show the clothes.

John is already sitting in on of the puffs, and Roger and Brian goes to him. “Hi, mate. We are about to call you.” says Brian, resting one shoulders over the wall.

“Oh, about the audition?” John looks to the guitar player more interessed.

“Yeah. If you’re still into, we want you to join the band.”

John gives a bigger smile, and nodding before say “I want to. Thanks.”

Roger sits in the puff next to John, and this makes the younger man look to him. “So did you see us play before?” Roger asks. He already knew the answer, but he wanted to humour a little bit.

“I did, actually, some weeks ago.” 

“And? What you thought?” the drummer gives a sassy smile, knowing that he’s already a good musician.

“So...I didn’t like very much.” John gives an apologetic look to Roger and then to Brian, maybe because this could affect his relationship with his new bandmates than because anything else. He’s never afraid to be sincere. “I mean, the setlist was okay, but the rhythm section wasn’t in sync.”

“Yeah, that’s why we’re looking for a new bass player.” Brian tried to not show he’s hurt with John’s reply. “But please don’t say that to Freddie. He’s quite a perfeccionist.”

Probably John felt Roger’s stare on him, because he looks back to Roger, staying in silence. The blond always liked the color of John’s eyes, a perfect mix between gray and green, one color prevailing the another according his mood – Roger knew he could expect for a storm when John had gray eyes, and his strongest laugh will show a shining clear green eyes. The drummer wondered for countless times how it’d be John’s color eyes if he lean to John and touch his lips on his. He still doesn’t have the answer.

“Let’s go find some clothes to you.” Roger stands up, talking directly to John.

“Oh no. It’s not my style.” John says, looking to the clothes next to them.

“Clearly.” smirks Roger. “But if you’ll be in a rock band, you need some bold attitude, and sorry mate, but this jumper won’t show this.”

“Probably.” John looks down to his clothes; his jumper was way big for him.

Roger regreted what he said. John always had self esteem issues and anxiety, thinking he wasn’t good enough to be in a band, nervous to be on stage and mess up something, and even he said some times he isn’t handsome. How dare he, thought Roger, and everytime that happened, he just wanted to hold him and say how awesome and wonderful and pretty he was. He said a couple of times, but maybe it wasn’t enough for him.

He saw John having problems to be on stage, specially when they were famous and their concerts became bigger than ever. Panick attacks were constant, and once he had to help John to breath again, and the bass player begged him to not tell to the other two – of course they knew about the anxiety, but not about the panick attacks. Roger obeyed it. But then John started to go drunk on stage in every concert, and Roger saw he failed to help him. John needed help, but he thought that drink until he forgot he’s in front of thousands of people would be the best. Same to the smoking – John was the last one to start to smoke and never gave up, like Brian and Roger did.

“Come on. You have to be _marlevolous_ , as says Freddie.” amuses Roger, and John tries to hide a smile.

“Now that everything is settle, I’ll go back to study. See you guys later.” Brian says, going to the door.

Roger always had a good eye to fashion, and he hands some clothes to John to wear, giving to him some advices about how and where he should wear every pieces, what shirt would be better with the trousers and what acessory he should use, John only hearing and nodding. They go to the fitting room, and John started to undress, Roger turning around to not let him see his cheeks burning.

John always had a great body. He was more skinny in the early days, but he has a smooth and pale skin, and Roger jack off many times imagining his mouth crossing over John’s body, kissing and biting here and there, and maybe these thoughts were coming back to his mind, so it’d be best to look to John right now.

The sound of the curtain moving makes Roger turn back. John is wearing a white silk shirt with a dark blue suede trousers and high wheels. Roger’s mouth waters.

“What you think?” John asks, being a bit insecure. Roger opens his mouth, but he didn’t know what he’d do.

“I love it, Deaks!” Freddie replies, standing behind Roger.

“What did you call me?” John put a concerned look on his face.

“Deaks, or Deaky. It’s a nickname, Roger thought of it.” 

John looks to Roger, slightly biting his lower lip, thinking. And then he smiles. “I like it.”

“Freddie, Deaks said he will join the band.” comments Roger, and Freddie just opens his mouth, choked.

“You said our decision without me. How rude.” and Freddie leaves, going to talk with John’s friend.

John giggled and asks to Roger “Is he always like that?”

“You only scratched the surface.” 

Roger looks to John when the brunette puts his attention to look other clothes, just passing his hands to them, feeling the fabric. He was there, John was there, so Roger needs to make a move – even that John’d fancy him, the younger man would never make a move on him. He never did before, so he doubt that he’d do in this universe. And, as Joe said to him, Roger needs to make John fall in love for him, because in this part the angel wouldn’t help him.

So he takes a deep breath and says “John, would you like to have a drink with me?” Roger sees John looking again to him. “I think I was a bit odd with you in your audition day, and if we’ll be bandmates we should get along.”

“Yeah, of course. But like, right now?” John asked, still with a hand on a coat.

“Works for me.” Roger smiles, and he looks to Freddie. “Freddie, can we close today sooner? I was thinking to get a drink now.”

“I’m in.” Freddie stands suddenly, pushing John’s friend to do the same.

“I was thinking more about drink alone with John.” Roger raises his eyebrows, receiving a confused look from Freddie. “To sort things out with him.”

Freddie stays quiet for some seconds, and then Roger sees him do the same thing he did in another universe: looking to Roger and then to John and back to Roger, like he’s trying to complete a puzzle. He just needed a glance to Roger, but the drummer only shrugged.

So the singer says “Ok. So let’s find our place to drink, dear. Shall we?” Freddie offers his arm to the woman, and she smiles and grabs it. They two goes to the door and disappears, letting the other two alone.

“I guess they let to us the job to close the shop.” grins Roger.

They close the shop and started to walk in silence. Roger knew how quiet John was – at first he only took words of him during rehearsals, and even when John started to hang out with the other three he rather to listen to them than interact. It only got better when they started to got closer and John was more open to the drummer.

Roger sees John being so calm that almost envys him. The tranquility that John shows to everyone was loud to Roger – the blond always was energetic, and sometimes it’s exhausting. With John everything is easy; almost anything affects him. Maybe this is one of the things Roger loves about John: if he say that everything is gonna be okay, with his deep and relaxing voice, the blond’d believe on him.

When they came to the pub it’s almost crowded. It’s Friday, so it’s expected. John found a booth to them and they sat there, one in front to the other. They ordered beers and two shots of vodca; Roger needed some courage.

Of course Roger wasn’t a coward or anything, but he’d do something he wanted for decades. His love story could probably start in that noisy pub, drinking beer and listening to crappy music. He’d know the bass player again, talking about things he liked in these days, like cars and engeneering. Roger’d make John smile and getting closer to him, and he’d be careful with him, not being rushy and irresponsable like he was with girls. He’d flirt and be caring with him, waiting patiently to John to take his time, until he could kiss him.

So being nervous was more than okay at this point.

At first, obviously, Roger needed to start to conversation, talking about his gigs and how was hard to find a decent bassist, John listening and giggling with his stories. John talked to him about his last band, that he started with guitar but soon he sticked with the bass, and how he likes the instrument. And how the band fell apart when some bandmates needed to move because uni, and John stayed some years without playing in a band.

When John says that being in a band helped him to have his first girlfriend, Roger jumps in “I bet you were pretty popular with the birds. I bet you still is.” and his voice is flirty.

John looks down, and Roger sees an adorable pink growing on his cheeks. “I’m okay with them.”

“Is that girl in the shop your girlfriend?” Roger is curious. John only introduced Veronica as his girlfriend.

“No, just a childhood friend.” John looks to Roger. “I bet you’re more than fine with girls too.”

“I’m fine.” Roger shrugs, pretending modesty, and John smiles. “But I’m hooked by someone since a long time ago. Hopeless in love.”

“Lucky one. And she knows about it?” John takes a sip of his drink without look away.

“I’m the lucky one, and _he_ does not.” Roger scratched his arms over the booth, expecting John’s reaction.

John raises his eyebrows for some seconds, looking with surprise to him, and then he takes another sip, being cool. “And why not?”

Roger should predict that. He should know that John’d start to make questions he couldn’t answer right now. John is smart, and somehow could figure all that out. He’s an engineer, so he knows about Physics and all that crazy shit about alternative universes and things Roger thought it only belonged to sci-fi novels.

Because if he could answer the truth to John, he’d have to say to Freddie he’ll die in 1991 from AIDS. But, thinking through, they two have the right to know about their future, and how they will die. 

Roger could save them.

“Roger, are you-” and John’s question wasn’t finished.

The drummer looked to John, but he was frozen. Actually, everything in the place was frozen. The crappy music stopped, and the noise people are doing too. Everyone in the pub, expect Roger, was motionless, and the blond looked around, wondering what the hell was going on.

“Well, I thought this conversation would be made later. I guess I was wrong.” Joe showed up, hands on his hips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now the _real_ shit will happen.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry in advance

Joe walks through the crowd, taking a bottle of beer of a frozen man and taking a sip, and he makes a face. “So gross. Why you drink this?”

“Joe, why did you do this? I was talking to John, just like you said.” Roger walks to be in front of the angel.

“No, you would tell to John about his death.” Joe looks to Roger, with an eyebrow up.

Roger opens his mouth, chocked. “How do-” Roger starts, but it’s too obvious. “Can you read my mind?”

“Of course I can.” Joe shakes his head, amused. “I can read minds and manipulate time. I’m Jean Grey and Flash.”

“I think they are not from the same universe.”

“It doesn’t matter, you get it.” Joe walks again to the pub and stops next to John, looking to the man who’s frozen, his mouth half-opened, a concerned look on his eyes. And Joe smiles to him. “I can see why you love him. He’s adorable.”

“He’s not when he’s this way.” Roger says with a tired tone. Joe seems he’s taking him on hold. “WHY YOU DID THIS WITH JOHN?”

Joe sits on the table, swinging his legs. “First of all I need you to know that you’re the first human I do this stuff.” Roger frowns, and Joe replys his mute question. “I never took someone back in time.”

“Never? You mean...In your whole existence?” Roger fells a bit of proud. Joe should have some millions of years,  _he must have seen dinosaurs_ , but he decided to took him back. And Roger sees Joe nods. 

“Yeah. So I didn’t know I should say something right away to you, and that I should...that I should ask you if you  _wanted_  to go back.” Joe is looking to the blond like pretty similar to shame. “You see, I didn’t so into humans, I rather taking care of another planets, I was looking to the Earth for two seconds when I met you and your history.” 

Roger isn’t understanding where this conversations is going. He’s pretty fine so far to be there; yeah, he’s missing his kids, but he’s sure Joe will have a answer to that. The few things he knew about alternatives universes is that they are crazy, so everything is possible.

“That’s okay, Joe. I’m okay, actually. You’re right, I was about to tell John about us, about how I know him a long time ago.” Roger smiles to the angel. “I can help to save Freddie. I can tell people how AIDS can be treated, so millions of people won’t need to die.”

“About that...You can’t say.” Joe gave him an not-so-good look. Maybe this is the most painful glance Roger saw until now on Joe’s eyes.

Roger feels his smiles dropping slowly on his face. Maybe he didn’t hear Joe right. “What did you mean that I can’t?” 

Maybe it’s because no one ever said to Roger that he can’t do anything. Maybe because something started to shape on his mind, a theory for the reason the drummer couldn’t say to John they met in another universe and, by consequence, he couldn’t tell Freddie about the disease it’d kill him.

A burning is flaming on his lungs, and the breathe starts to be heavy. “Tell me what the fuck you meant that I can’t say to John.”

Joe’s shining eyes – a shine that should be part of his fantastic living – glances to him. In a bad way. “If you say to John, or Freddie, or Brian, or basically to anyone you will disturbe the universe and horrible things can happen, like the person die immediately.”

The drummer knows he’s standing in front of Joe, he can feel his feet on the ground, and his bones are strong as hell. But Roger doesn’t understand how he didn’t fall on the floor.

Whatever Roger was hearing, it’s not fair. Not fair to him, not fair to his bandmates, not fair even to the unknown people in th pub.

“But they’re my friends, they need to know!” Roger says, trying to put some sense on Joe.

“It doesn’t work this way.” Joe shakes his head, unexpressive. “No human can know about their death, they aren’t buildt to know things like that.” Roger was about to argue, but Joe spoke first “You aren’t the first either the last person to ask to save someone. Don’t let me start with how many people ask to save that man with weird mustache.”

“But John and Freddie are good people!” Roger was about to beg. He’d beg if he need to.

“Sorry, Roger. It’s a statement between Heaven and Hell. It’s something I can’t change.”

Finally his legs lost their strength. He feels his body falling, ready to hit to floor, but – somehow – he crushed on someone more soft than the pub floor. Joe deaden his fall, and when Roger feels his long and oddly warm arms around him, the drummer tries to push him away, but the angel’s embrace is stronger. Of course.  
And his anger turns to a loudly sob. He could cry as louder as he can; no one besides Joe would hear him. The internal burning is now watery, tears that don’t stop to fall over his eyes, his face getting redder, and his throat sore in a minute, how badly is his pain. He feels Joe caressing his hair. 

What is he doing there? He couldn’t be able to save his best friend! Freddie would die anyways! He’d pass again to the process, to see Freddie getting thinner and sicker every week, to watch a loved one suffer for something that it’ll have treatment some years for now. Not only him, but thousands of people will die from AIDS, people as innocent as Freddie.

He remembers his mourning: John and Brian was grieving as well, but they’re worried with him, because his bound with Freddie was beyong explanation and logic; it’s eternal, and losing someone so important could make Roger go insane. And he did, for some weeks. He didn’t sleep or eat, he cried so much and needed to be hospitalized and he experienced some delliriums about Freddie being around him. Even almost thirty years from Freddie’s death the November 24th was hard for Roger, and he knew Brian and John felt the same.

And now he had to lie to his bandmates, like he didn’t know that one day Freddie would enter on their studio and say that he got it, that it’d be crying and John pushing the wall, that Queen would be different for now then.

“Roger, Freddie still would die at November 24th on 1991 in any universe, just like John will die at 2019, just like everyone else on Earth. People who died from AIDS will die anyways, it doesn’t matter if it’s from AIDS or something else. So you’re saying to the world about it won’t change a thing.” Joe starts to talk, with a low tone. “As much you will die at...” Roger expected to hear the date of his death, but he heard nothing, and he look up. Joe was moving his lips, but any sound was coming out. “from...” and again, Roger didn’t hear a thing. “See? Even an angel can’t say things like this. It’s against the rules.”

“But those are shitty rules!” yelled Roger, finally getting away from Joe, and he stands up. “Why you took me back here if I can’t save my friends, if I can’t tell Freddie to be careful and not die from a STD?”

“Don’t you see? The disease is just a detail, Freddie will die anyways, with 45 years old. Imagine if you really could say to them, that you saw the future? They’d think you’re mad.”

“They wouldn’t.” Roger tried to look secure about it, but he wasn’t. Of course he would sound mad to his friends.

“Roger, you can do something. You can make your love story.” 

Roger didn’t believe that Joe was wearing a smile, like in a minute ago he wasn’t talking to him that he can’t change Freddie’s or John’s fate, and the drummer could feel the urgent feeling of smash something – a feeling so usual on his twenties – right now. And if Joe doesn’t watch it, his face would be the target.  
How he could be happy with John if Freddie will die? If he wouldn’t have his- 

“Hey! My kids! What did you do with my kids?” Roger asked angrily, pointing his finger on Joe.

“You’re not dumb, buddy. You can do the math. Felix only will born at 1980.” Joe lifts his hands, like Roger’s dumb indeed.

“I know, but if I get John, that means...” Roger sees on the angel’s eyes that his fear was true. He closes his hand on fist and pushes the table, John’s beer turning down and rolling over, the liquid spliting through the wood. “MY KIDS! YOU CAN’T TAKE AWAY MY KIDS, JOE!”

It’s not something Roger was open to negociate. It’s the most important people he always had on his life, five lives that make his own have meaning. Each one of them gives him joy, since the first time Roger put his eyes on them. He remember every little moment he spended with them, making them laughing or taking care of them when they cried, in the sunny and rainy days; being the drummer of a famous band never was the job he loved the most. Being Felix’s, Rufus’s, Lola’s, Tiger’s and Rory’s dad is the most one.

It doesn’t matter if he wasn’t a great husband (that he knew he wasn’t), but he always made his best to be a good father, and by the way his children were caring with him the drummer thought he made a nice job.

Take them away from him is off the table.

“I won’t! I would never!” Joe takes a step foward, but Rogers is too pissed, so he stops. The blond looks he could punch him right now – and he’s afraid to find out if angels can be punched – but, to be fair, he kinda deserves. “I’m trying to figure out a way to have them here in this universe too.”

Roger was trying to be cool, but his world was falling apart. Freddie still will die, he doesn’t have sure that he’ll see his kids again and even he has no clue if he could make John fall for him.

John. The drummer looked to him, still frozen, his eyes looking forward, not losing their shining glance, his lips staying soft and wet, and Roger feels a tear crossing his face again. Still with the same lovely aura he always has. If Roger was a stupid person, he could use the moment to go ahead to kiss him, to feel how his mouth feels like, but the drummer wasn’t like that.

The bass player had no idea what’s happening, and the older one didn’t know if he wants to play this game.

“You want.” Joe replies for him, and Roger only stares to him. “If there’s something you can change in any universe is your love for John. But you don’t want to, because it’s one of the things that makes you be you.”

He looks again to John. Roger touches the youngest’s face, passing his index on John’s jawline, his thumb caressing the other’s cheekbone. It’s so hard to decide. Love shouldn’t be hard.

He should ask Joe to go back? Something, back on Roger’s mind, asked him to go back, to suffer for John’s death, and maybe he’d have a decade or a little more, so he could die in piece. This new universe is more complicated than that one.

But Roger never was good to choose.

“I need a moment.” Roger says, before sit again in front of John. 

“Just remember: you can be happy here, like you’d never be there.” and Joe disappears, letting Roger alone with John and his thoughts. 

Roger knew how hard it’d be to not tell Freddie and the other about everything. The burning went back to his chest, and he knew it’d be a constant on his life now. Everytime Freddie’d talk or smile to him he’d remember his funeral, like a daily reminder of his friend’s future. How he could build his happiness knowing damn well the day he’d see Freddie for the last time? He’d feel a monster to live his life when Freddie was saying goodbye to his.

He wanted so bad to blame all this mess to the angel, because  _com’on_ , what the problem to read the time travel manual before he took someone back in time? It’s a intern mistake, and he knew Joe isn’t dumb. Roger thought he’d have the right to punch the creature the next time they see each other. 

But he also knew that Joe didn’t do this confusion on purpose; he really tried to help. And he said he’d find a solution to bring Roger’s kids to him again. He looks like a nice chap (if the drummer could call him ‘chap’), and he made something Roger really want – a chance with John.

Roger has no idea how to make John fall for him. I mean, what he could make different than the other time he lived with him? John is the same man he met years ago, he’d be shy and quiet around him, as always, and he’d never show what he truly thinks. John’s always a kind of an enigma for Roger – the type he would love to decode, but he’s scared enough to try.

And then he remembered: he’s not a twat. He’s fucking Roger Taylor, the fearless drummer of Queen, someone who doesn’t give up, he goes and takes it. And he’s smart enough to not mess this up, even that he dies trying. 

He’ll make John his.

“-okay?” and Roger hears John finally finishing his question. Suddenly all the noise starts again in the pub, breaking the silence, and Roger almost shouted. John feels the beer running over the table. “What the hell.” he looks around and sinalyzed to the pub bartender.

When John looked again to him, Roger feels the urgency to kiss him, to move forward and feel him on his arms. To make the youngest man giggle while he bits his lip and put his tongue on his mouth. He wants to feel John inside him, to sense him going further him, to scream John’s name after his orgasm, to cuddle the bass player after that and to sleep on his arms peacefully.

But to that he needs to make John fall for him first.

“Are you okay, Roger?” asked again John, slowly. The bartender went to the booth and cleaned the table, handing to John another cold beer.

Roger looked into John's eyes, that shining glance that always endeared him. His heart got smaller when he thought 'In exactly 48 years you will die, and this shine will disappear forever from this planet', and he really wanted to cry, to hug him tight and never let him go. John needed to be protected - even that he hated when his bandmates overprotected him, because the bass player was the youngest one - and Roger would love to be his guardian. Only the memory of John's grave makes him want to sob. Imagine how amazing it'd be, at Roger and John's first 'date' the Queen drummer crying his heart out? Charming.

But...he needed to cool down, to do what he needed to do. John couldn't suspect anything, and the blond should swallow all his sadness. He could cry over his pillow, like he did millions of times.

Roger blinked twice before answer “I am. And to answer your question, he doesn’t know because I think he’s not into me. At least not yet.” Roger smiles.

“I like your confidence that this guy will fall for you.” teases John, drinking his beer. “But with your looks I think it’s easy.”

“I wish.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JP RULES LOL  
> and there's no need to say who's the guy with the weird mustache


	9. Chapter 9

The first rehearsals with the band finally formed was great, just John getting on track with the others’ sounds, always looking for Roger to be in sync with him and asking for him to speed up or slow down. The drummer didn’t mind at all; it was their routine at those days find each other’s tempo, Brian occasionally getting in the middle and trying to make the guitar riff the center of the band speed. Roger saw John bit his tongue a couple of times, probably trying to not say something yet – him and John both know they are the rhythm section for a reason.

The Queen drummer remember, when he was old, how beautiful John Deacon was on the early days, with the ethereal look and coy smile, but going back there and see him with all his youth again was breaking Roger’s system – this second experience looks like a bright light, sometimes too strong to handle. So there’s times he forgot he actually needed to hit the drums, because that slim body dancing in front of him was a big distraction. Thankfully none of the others didn’t mind, even so the blond could see Freddie’s nostrils open with anger; he’s such a perfectionist and their first gig with John is now on two weeks, so they need to be flawless.

They call a ten minutes break, just to catch a breath and drink something, and Roger used the time to talk with John.

After his painful talk with Joe he decided he should give a try with John. If nothing changed and John didn’t fall for him he’d ask to go back, because at least he could have his kids back. He didn’t sleep that night and he was wondering what he could do different this time. How he could make John see his true intentions with him?

And he remembered: the flirting was basically pretty immature. Roger flirted with Freddie and Brian like he did with John (maybe a way to cover his feelings for the bass player) just winking and blowing them kisses. He must be ashamed with himself; he was a good flirt, but not with the band. So maybe the lack of strength at his actions could have given to the brunet the wrong idea.

So he wouldn’t mistake this time.

“Hi, John. How is the rehearsal going for you?” asks the blond, squeezing the other’s arm. John looks to his hand, and Roger pulls it away. “Sorry.”

“No, that’s okay. Sometimes I just forget you guys are into touches.” John gives him a shy smile. Roger actually forgot; with time John didn’t mind the constant need of touching that Freddie and Roger had, but in the beginning of their partnership he rather to be away from their PDAs. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just a little tired.” He was still a little reserved to talk freely about what he thinks.

“I know, this rehearsal is too long.” Roger grins when he sees John nodding. “I got your back, Deaks.” and the blond turns to the other two. “Mates, this rehearsal is taking too long and I need some paper to do, so if you don’t mind to release the drummer...”

“I guess it’s time, indeed.” comments Freddie. “Makes more time for me to write new ideas I have in mind.”

“Great, see you later.” Roger says and signs to John to go with him.

“I’m going too, mates.” John speaks in a low tone, puts his bass on the bass case, grabs it and leaves after Roger. He waited for a few moments to ask “What, Roger?”

“I was wondering if you want to see a movie with me.”

John frowns. “I thought you said you had a paper to do.”

“I just said so they could let us go out. What do you think?”

The plan was getting shape on the blond’s mind, and a dark room would be nice to speed it up. Roger smirks when John accepts.

•••

The theater was far so Roger had time to catch up with John. How was his college, what kind of machine he’s building on his class, if he was nervous for his first gig with Queen.

Roger always loved when he went out with John alone. He knew that part of the relationship they had was built on these moments they shared. The drummer learning how to make the brunet speak, John being cheeky and backfiring the other’s jokes, and the younger one starting to feel brave enough to chat about what he liked and what he disliked on his bandmates (Roger included). So the blond thought he could preserve this part of the other universe.

They’re in line to buy their tickets when Roger sees his first opportunity to make a move. He’s behind John, then he puts his hands on John’s waist and says “Do you like horror movies? I’d love to see one today, if you don’t mind.”

As the moment at the rehearsal, John looks to his hand on his body, but this time it isn’t with a concerned look. Roger didn’t figure what look was that, but it isn’t a bad look, so score for him. “I’m okay with that.”

“Nice.”

Roger seems to ‘forgot’ to take his hands away from John, rubbing the spot, and talking with the brunet like it’s the most normal thing to do, just stopping the contact when they needed to buy the tickets.

They got inside the dark room with popcorn and soda, and preferred to sit in the back seats, to have a better view. Roger also appreciated the decision, because there’s no one next to them, and he could more moves on John without anyone looking.

The movie isn’t that scary, it was pretty dumb, but in every scare scene Roger shout “Shit!”, and in a moment the assassin jump in front of the girl Roger grabs John’s hand and hided his face on John’s arm. He feel John’s body shaking, probably laughing at him.

“Why did you want a horror movie if you can’t handle it?” asked John.

“I like horror movies. I don’t know what is happening with me today.” lied Roger – he always liked horror movies, but he knew what was happening with him today.

“Ok, but you can let me go? I kinda like to use this arm.” John’s tone was amused, and the drummer released him.

The rest of the movie the blond whispers curious facts about horror movies, like what they use to product the fake blood, or how the camera zoom can make a place looks distant. His mouth was so close of John he could feel him breathing, and maybe because the room being so dark John wasn’t so sure about the distance between them.

But then the movie was over and the room got light up again. John widened his eyes when he saw Roger being inches of his face, and the drummer did one of his favorites moves: look on the person’s eyes, then to the person’s lips, back to their eyes and a slow bite on his lower lip.

Roger was about to put his hand on John’s face when they heard someone yell “Faggots!”, taking them out of that moment.

Back in real time, people had become more accepting, more open to homosexual relatonships. Not everybody was on board, but the chances of getting attacked were a tad lower. Now however, they were stuck in a time filled with hate and cruelty.

John lowered his face, his cheeks burning. Roger couldn’t do this, not right now. “Let’s go. I get you at home.”

“Okay.” just said John.

The ride at John’s flat was quiet, maybe he was thinking over and over about what happened at the theater. Roger couldn’t fire back; people that time were used to call names everyone who didn’t fit on the society norms, and people getting bashed was usual. Hate crime wasn’t a crime there yet.

Roger parked his car in front of John’s building, and looked at him. “Hey, don’t waist your time thinking of that person that yelled at us. It doesn’t worth.”

“I know. It’s just...odd.” John shrugs. Roger thought he never was called that. Roger, in other hand, was so used to be confused as a bird that most of the time he let it slide – the other times he punched the bloke, because he start to tease the drummer, asking about his ‘lady parts’ or if he had tits.

“Imagine if you have this face.” amuses Roger, trying to clear the mood. “You wouldn’t last a day.” and it worked, because John smiles, more lighted than before. “Now I need to ask you something. Don’t tell Freddie and Brian about this hang out. They can be pretty emotional about it.”

“Are you like this, aren’t you?” giggles John, tilting his head.

If Roger could choose, he’d choose see John always like that, with that beautiful smile on his face. There’s nothing prettier in this world than his smile.

“What can I say? We love each other too much.” smiles Roger.

“No word will escape from my lips.” assures John, noddind.

“Thanks. Also, can we do this more often? I think we can be real mates outside the band, and sometimes Freddie only talks about Queen, and if you spend time enough with Brian he will drag you down about stars and cosmos shit.”

John waits for some seconds, scanning Roger’s face. The blond gets a little anxious during the moments of silence, expecting John’s answer. And the bass player smiles, nodding. “Of course, why not?”

They say goodbye and John goes out of the car, Roger waiting the brunet enter the building to start again his car. With a smile on his face, the Queen drummer thinks this could a first step to his lifetime of happiness with John.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that Roger is a biologist? Ok then  
> Also it's a little tribute for one of my favorites lines of The Ballad of John Deacon

Roger is always making excuses to see John, like saying that he needed a Biology book that has only at John’s uni library or his TV is making weird noises. Everytime they meet the Queen drummer found a way to linger the moment, asking about things to John, and when the other realizes they spended hours together. Roger always had a gift to wrap people up when he want to, even if he’s afraid when it comes to John.

This time John’s at the blond’s flat, helping Roger with an uni test – for some reason Roger thought it’d be good for him study again, and even if he knew being biologist isn’t his dream, at least he wouldn’t spend all day thinking about things he couldn’t control, like Freddie’s and John’s death – asking him questions and the blond answering. He never had problem with uni, even that he’s not going so often; that blond bastard was smart.

But, for the purpose to make John stay longer, he’s answering some questions wrong. John frowned because even he, an Engeneering student, knew that the femur is the longest body bone. “Are you sure you want to be a biologist?” mocks the brunet, sitting at the couch.

“Ha ha, very funny you.” Roger says, rolling his eyes, but still amused. He’s sitting at a chair, looking John’s smile. “Like you know every fact about Engeneering.”

“I bet I know more than you.”

“I know that a car needs four wheels to run.”

John giggles with that, making Roger proud. “Even Freddie knows that.”

The brunet lays on the couch, scratching his whole body, and for some seconds Roger looses his breath. It’d be easy for him just climb over John and kiss him, undress him and ride him.

After Roger found out that he had feelings for John, accepted he liked men too and that he couldn’t be with his friend he tried everything. Fuck girls, make orgies, and fuck guys too. He thought that being with another man could at least pretend that body was John’s and that cock fucking him was his. Roger called some guys by the bass player’s name, and he even started to look for some blokes named John, like this could help. But it didn’t; none of them have John’s voice or John’s perfum or John’s eyes. None of them could replace John.

Every sex he did wasn’t completly satisfying. Of course, he cum most of the times, thinking of John every time to do it, but when he open his eyes and saw that person wasn’t who he wanted, it’s horrible. Like a piece of him was missing.

Roger moves from his chair to be next to John, croutching down, and the brunet looks to him with interest.

“Biology fact: the ribs exist basically to protect the heart.” Roger comments, touching John’s chest. John stays still, his eyes on Roger. “And the heart doesn’t look like the drawings, being more oval.” his fings press a bit John’s ribs, to mantain the contact.

“Looks you know a lot about heart stuff.” says John, moving his body to be closer to Roger.

Is Roger going crazy or John is making a move as well?

“I know a lot of things, you just don’t realize yet.” whispered Roger, and he swallows. “Like the skin is the biggest organ.”

John smiles again and falls back in the couch. “I guess you actually know some shit about Biology. You’ll be a good biologist.”

“I rather be a drummer.” 

•••

Now they are walking in the street, just because Roger said he wanted to go out of the flat. They don’t have a place to go, so they just walk forward.

“Do you want kids someday, John?” asks Roger, after they buy two beers.

“Wow, very adult question.” giggles John, and he drinks his beer. “Er, I never thought of kids, but yeah, maybe someday. I guess just a couple.”

Roger hides his smile. He married Veronica with her already pregnant of Robert and when he’s 28 John’s already father of three. John had six children, Freddie only meeting four of them but the main singer loved them. And Brian and Roger never looked away from them, even when John resigned from Queen, Veronica helping them to never lose the contact with the kids.

The drummer’s kids were friends of John’s since childhood and Roger was invited to John’s son’s wedding, even John barely talked to him that day. He always had a more close relationship with Robert and Cameron, for different reasons – Robert was always at Queen concerts, and Cameron wanted to bring his father and Brian and Roger’s friendship back, even he never sucessed. Tiger and Luke had a small fling when they were younger, and the drummer laughed with the idea of John and him being at the same family and having grandchildren together.

“And you, Rog? Maybe you already had some kid and you don’t know.” teases John.

Roger laughs, remembering one of his last interviews from 2019, when he said he only guessed he had five kids.

Now then he found himself missing his kids again. Every one of them has a soft spot on his heart, and he liked so much to spend time with them; with his kid Roger felt young again, they made him laugh and made him happy. Just like the father, Felix, Rufus, Lola, Rory and Tiger didn’t hve shame to do anything, knew how to have a good time, and where the Taylor family was the fun and the party was settle. They only needed to be together and they could do anything.

And even still Roger’s children respected him. Even they knew what he did with their moms, they never stopped to love him, and never let their divorces be between them, something Roger always had fear of. They liked to really talk to him, to gossip of their relationships and to share their lives with the drummer. Even Lola, his youngest daughter, with their big age gap, liked to spend a good time with him. They came to him for advices and made Roger felt he’s an important part of their lives, no matter where or how old they were.

John probably noted he’s far away, because Roger heard him calling out “Rog.”

Roger looks at him again, and soon he’s smiling again. “Sorry, you’re right. It’s a deep question to answer. And yeah, I want five.”

John nearly chokes on his beer. “Five? You want a big family.”

“I know.” Roger nods. “But I want five, two boys and three girls. I already have the names.”

“Twenty-one and already have his kids names.” Laughs John, and then with some moments he frowns. “And the other parent would be your guy?”

‘It’s all I want.’ thinks Roger, and he needs to look away to John not see the blush on his face. “I hope so.”

They are crossed the street corner when they see Brian talking to a girl, who Roger knew it’s Chrissie, Brian’s soon-to-be first wife. Next time when the blond see Joe he needs to ask if he could make Brian not marry that girl, because they’re both horrible to each other. And then he paused; Brian’s children only would be born if they marry each other. At least a good thing happened in that toxic marriage.

Brian looks to them, surprised with the meeting. “Hi, mates. So funny to meet you here.” and the guitarist got nervous. “Did we settle a meeting and I forgot?”

John and Roger look to each other, and the blond starts to talk “No. We found each other without knowing in a pub a couple of hours ago.”

“Totally random.” follows John, nodding.

“Totally.” agrees Roger.

“So why we don’t go back to this pub and chat? Or we two have something else in mind?” invited Brian.

Roger had better things in mind, like spend the rest of the day alone with John, maybe flirt a little more. But seems that John is down with the proposal.

“Okay then.” the drummer says and when he turns around he rolls his eyes fondly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Just a couple" KDKDJDBDIENDODNDKDND 
> 
> Brian, the boy needs to flirt with his lover. Give us a break, bitch.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Deacury bc I love those two

It was true that Brian and Freddie noted that proximity of John and Roger, they two exchanging amused glances during the rehearsals and Roger always having something to say to John during the breaks. But only Freddie saw something else, but for now he’d keep his thoughts to himself.

The gig was this week and John is clearly nervous, signing everytime the other mentioned it, and soon Roger caught that. Even the bass player was talented, he always had some trouble with be on stage, and his anxiety just got worse with the years, and Roger really didn’t want that this John have the same anxiety attacks the other one had. So, after a long rehearsal, he asked John “Are you okay about the gig? I know it can be really stressful.”

Roger could see in John’s eyes he’s struggling with the want to spill it out and the need to not show himself as a weak.

“Hey, everybody here had a moment like that, even Freddie. He’s always with that armor of cheekiness and confidence, but he got scared too.” comments Roger. “So don’t think you’re the first man to be afraid to play in front of people.”

“Am I that readable?” John smirks.

‘Maybe knowing you for decades gives me a advance’ thought Roger. “No, but I always have good guesses. Was I right?”

“Yes, you are.” replys John.

“Just remember: Freddie, Brian and I will be there with you and for you, no matter what, okay? Besides Brian will lecture us anyway, even that our performance be flawless.” smirks Roger.

“Yes, I will.” the rhythm sections hears Brian’s voice on the other side of the room.

The words made John relax for the next few days, but when the night of the gig came, he was nervous again. Roger could see his fingers drumming on his thigh and the bass player taking deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. Maybe a little distraction would help now.

“Deaks, do you want me to do your make up?” Roger asks, calling the brunet to sit in a chair, in front of a mirror. The backstage room of this pub isn’t big, but it’s good enough compared with other ones they needed to share in the early days.

“Since when you know how to do make up, Rog?” asks Freddie, with a suspicious look.

The Queen drummer saw something on his friend’s eyes, something he only saw a few times on his life. “I saw you doing it a couple of times and I guess I know how to do it.”

Freddie signs, not buying it. “I doubt that.”

And Roger gets his focus back to John. The brunet is now sitting on the chair next to Roger, looking to him, waiting for the make up.

The blond put his hands on his face, smiling to him, and caresses John’s cheeks with his thumbs. “You have pretty eyes. I guess we should put a thick eyeliner, just to show more their beauty.”

John parts his lips a little, speechless, and just frowned when he sees Roger face getting closer, their noses almost touching. “Ah...Thanks?”

"What kind of colour is this? I never know. Sometimes is gray, sometimes is green.” the blond gave a little smile after.

“I just say it’s grayish-green.”

“People didn’t get hypnotized by you when they look into your eyes?” Roger bits his lips, knowing very well they do. _Or at least he does_.

“You’re looking to them right now. Are you hypnotized?” smirked John.

“Roger, we have a schedule, so please do the damn make up.” Freddie’s voice makes they get back to reality, and Roger frowned to the main singer.

Freddie never was opposite to flirting, since he enjoys to do this a lot, and he always laughed with Roger’s approach. And now he didn’t look to like with Roger doing it with John. The drummer didn’t mind, and when he looked to his friend, Freddie just turned around to sing loudly, preparing his voice.

Roger, actually, didn’t know how to do a simple make up on anyone’s eye, and when he saw John’s eyes getting weird and not-straight lines under them, the blond started to laugh. Of course the bass player noted there’s something wrong, and he looked to the mirror, enjoying Roger’s laugh after that.

“Freddie, I guess you need to do this make up, after all.” says Roger, John already cleanse his eyes with a tissue.

John’s make up was done now and Freddie asks him to help Brian with the sound. Roger was combing his hair when Freddie locked the door after John leave, the drummer looking to his friend’s direction when he realized it’s too quiet in there.

“Roger, dear, I love you so much, and because of this I will have to say. You can’t shag our bass player.” Freddie’s tone was serious.

Freddie was, since the very beginning, a little too protective with John. Maybe because he’s the oldest one and John the younger one, he felt the need to be a father – better, _a mother_ – to him. Freddie had a special bond with Roger, but the blond knew that Freddie did everything he could to be there for the bass player, giving him advices about adult life and comfort him when the brunet needed. Roger never tried to compete with that; Freddie was John’s voice when he didn’t have the heart to say what he wanted to.

With Queen having high vows, Freddie and John got closer, the main singer always visiting him and Veronica during the tour breaks, having a little fun with John’s kids that, as their father, always enjoyed Freddie’s presence. John helped Freddie when he’s dealing a abusive relationship and took care of Freddie when he had wounds. The bass player didn’t break his arm because he put his hand through a glass; he broke it after beat Freddie’s violent boyfriend until let him unconscious.

When Freddie got prostrated, John wasn’t brave enough to see his friend languish – Roger didn’t blame him, it was a painful experience. Freddie missed him, but deep down Roger knew that Freddie didn’t mind. John needed to have a healthy memory of Freddie to be okay, so it was he got.

Roger may be Freddie’s soulmate on a musical level but he and John were something completely different. They were the best of friends. Freddie was practically John’s stage mother. He took that shy midlands boy and turned him int a rock star. Nobody else could have ever done that other than Freddie Mercury.

So, right now, see Freddie trying to keep John away from Roger’s hands was totally reasonable. “John is a great bass player, the only one that really got along with us, and I can’t let you destroy the possibility of Queen rise because of your...needs.”

Roger smiles with Freddie’s comment. They never had this kind of conversation in the other universe, not because Freddie didn’t want to, but Roger never allowed to talk about it, and Freddie just let it be. There were countless the times the drummer wanted to run and call Freddie to talk about his feelings for John, but he never did; he never knew why. When John died the only person that could calm Roger down would be Freddie, but he’s dead too.

“Seriously, Rog, I get it, he’s adorable. Not really my type of guy, but he’s pretty.” Freddie says, getting closer to his friend. “But he’s our bandmate now, and I have a good feeling about him, about he being on Queen. So you need to keep his lustful and hungry animal you have inside of you shut, okay? He’s isn’t an ordinary girl you deceive in a wherever pub.”

And Roger knew what he had to do. “I know all of this, and I didn’t see him that way. He’s not ordinary to me. Freddie, I- I love him.” Roger feels a blush crossing his face, because he never said this out loud.

Freddie opens his mouth, in shock. Roger imagined is about he didn’t imagine that Roger could have a thing for blokes, and that he could _love_ a bloke.

Roger never liked to use the word in vein, so he always used ‘fancy’ or ‘like’. Love is something you can’t take it back, it’s forever, he thought this way since he was a little boy and he saw how many times his dad beat his mother and him and after cried and say he loved them. Besides BDSM, love wasn’t supposed to have violence.

His friend knew that and was a little surprised to hear the verb getting used. “Are you sure, Roger? You only met him for two months.”

Roger smiles again, firmly nodding. “I’m sure, Freddie.”

Freddie looks again to Roger, not being upset anymore, but with worry. Maybe thinking of the pros and cons about the rhythm section getting a little more fun than just playing. “Ok, blondie. Just because you’re taking this serious I will allow to make a move on him. But, please, if this don’t work out, _please_ , don’t make a scene. You know who’s the hysterical queen here.”

“Okay, Freddie.” and Roger gives his friend a hug, who accepts it.

“I really care about you” Freddie says, with a smile, after the hug. “and I already care about him. Don’t blow this up, Roger.”

“I won’t.”

A quiet knock on the door makes they two step away from each other, and John’s head appears. “We’re ready.”

“Ready, Freddie?” asks Roger, winking to him.

“As always, darling.” Freddie puts a sassy face and leaves the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roger doesn't know how to make straight lines bc he isn't even straight *BA DUM TSS*


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Maylor for you guys :)

The gig was one of the best of Roger’s life, and Freddie commented many times how much a good bass player could make a difference. John blushed every time Freddie made this remark.

The main singer wanted to celebrate the ‘new era of Queen’ and the band decided to drink at Freddie’s flat. Brian said he couldn’t stay long, because he had class tomorrow morning.

“Stop being so worried, Bri!” yelled Freddie, in the middle of the street. “We are going to be famous!”

This kind of energy was what made Queen never give up and lose the hype. Roger knew they wouldn’t have been famous without Freddie’s hope.

John was walking next to them, quiet as always. “A penny for your thoughts, little Deaky.” says Roger, bompping his shoulder on his.

“I was just thinking how good was playing. It’s been years since I walked on a stage.” the bass player says. “I liked the feeling, even that...” and he shuts again, biting his lip for talking to much.

The drummer could see on John’s eyes what’s his feeling. “Even you’re almost shitting yourself?” whispers Roger, grinning.

John looks to him, kinda amused, kinda surprised. “I wouldn’t use these words, but yeah.”

“Everytime you have these feelings you can talk to me, okay?”

The brunet just nodded, walking in silence again. Roger could feel John gave him furtive looks, and he enjoyed it, trying not to smile out of nowhere.

They just need some beers to warm them up, and in ten minutes after get inside Freddie’s place they were already smiling stupidly, talking about the pub and their playlist, and Brian boring the other three about how they could make some improviments for the next gig.

“Geez, Brian, let us enjoy some steam of this gig, after you can kill us with all the things we did wrong!” asks Roger, finishing his beer and already going to grab another one.

“But drinking this way you won’t survive to the next gig.” teased Brian.

Roger wanted to enjoy his youth again. Now he has a body it could handle alcohol better than his old body. When he’s almost seventy, he only could drink a couple of glass of wine. Being old means he’d get drunk easily and longer hangovers. But when he’s twenty, he could drink a lot and still be able to deal with the other day. So he’d enjoy as much as he could.

“I won’t die soon, even you wish for it.” smirks Riger, winking to his friend.

“I would never. It’s too hard to find a drummer, even on _your level_.” 

Roger and Brian had a pretty chill friendship, since when Brian was looking for a drummer to his band with Tim. They just clicked, easy as that, and soon as they knew they turned each other’s close friends. Not just because they were bandmates, but they trust on each other, as musicians and as humans. Their music taste was more similar as Freddie’s or John’s, and it kept until they grow old.

The drummer and the guitar player saw their band losing members, changing names and falling apart, always talking about it – more Brian than Roger – and they always got each other’s back, even throught their divorces or when Brian tried to end his life. The curly-haired man hugged Roger at Freddie’s funeral and was who made the drummer get out his bedroom after John retired.

Brian had a sweet spot of Roger’s heart, and he’s one of his longest friends. Even that they’re old and they find a new singer to Queen, they look to the other and smiled, thinking how they grow together and that Queen was only alive because they still believe on their music.

“Okay, so let’s dance!” Freddie put some music, and Brian rolls his eyes.

“That’s the moment I leave. Later, mates.” Brian waves to them, going to the front door.

John frowned with the man’s action, and Freddie just flicks his wrist. “He doesn’t like to dance.”

“Not everyone is a Deaky.” mumbles Roger, grinning.

John just gives him a shy smile and takes a sip his beer. Freddie looks to them and whispers to Roger “Make a move, you silly. I’m gonna take a walk.” 

Roger stands up at the same time Freddie goes to the kitchen, closing the door after. The blond walks to John, who’s watching him finding really amused his bandmate couldn’t walk straight anymore, and he raises an eyebrow when the drummer extended a hand in front of him.

“Dance with me?”

The song that’s now playing is a really slow song. A romantic song. John isn’t follow. “Are you sure?”

“There’s no one around, and I’m pretty sure Freddie won’t punch us if he see two men dancing.” 

John waited some seconds until he took Roger’s hand, who smiled seeing the brunet standing up. But soon John put his hand on the drummer’s waist, pulling him closer. “But I will lead.”

“Already then.”

They don’t talk much, they just enjoy the song rhythm, they way their bodies touching when they move to the left and to the right, John’s eyes not blinking once. Roger didn’t want to look away, his breath getting short them he feels John’s pulse.

Roger wanted so many times to ask John to dance, just like this, to feel his body on his, to press his chest over his, to rest his own forehead on the brunet’s, eyes closed, just hearing the song lingering until the last note plays and he could open his eyes again. John would smile to him and Roger could break the distance between their lips and kiss his lover with passion.

But Roger never did this in the other time. He never had the nerve to see if he could be rejected or not. Never know is was better than actually knowing.

John is not just a good solo dancer, but he dances well as a pair too. Roger feels the way his hand pressed in the end of his back moves his body to the direction the bass player wants, and how the younger’s feet are trained to slide without a hesitation, so daft and gracious that amazes Roger. 

“Tell me about your guy.” John speaks suddenly.

“What you wanna know?” grins the drummer.

“How is he?”

Roger smiles. It’d be an odd yet funny experience to talk a person who’s in front of him without him realizes. “Well, he’s nice, a bit quiet, but he knows when to talk, you know? Has a cute smile, with a...” Roger shut it quickly, almost talking about John’s teeth gap. “Anyways, a cute smile, and he giggles, like all the time, when he’s around me! We joke around about everyone and everything. Quite annoying to our friends, because we have our inside jokes and only we understand.”

“He seems like a nice bloke.” smiles John. “You need to talk about your feelings for him.”

‘I want, so bad’ thought Roger, holding a smile. “I know.”

During a fun moment, he took Roger’s hand to waltz him, and the blond laugh, and he realeses the brunet’s hand, and starts to whirl, like a ballerina, making John giggle, and he keeps going, until he shocks his body with John’s, stopping with his hand on the bass player’s chest. Their laughters stop, getting replaced to a heavier feeling. 

Something is going on John’s expression, who’s frozen since he felt Roger’s touch again, and he probably could hear Roger’s heart almost exploding inside him, how nervous the blond was. His hands goes down to John’s waist, and for seconds he forget how to breath.

“Rog, what are you doing?” asks John, in a low tone.

The drummer blinks, trying to put himself together. It’s the fucking moment to ask for a kiss. The kiss he waited 48 years to give.

“Doing what?” Roger interrogates.

“All this. Flirting with me.” John took a step away from Roger.

Roger thought he could deceive John, enchanting him piece by piece, until having him fully without noticing nothing during the process, just like John unconscinessly did to him. But he forget a big fat fact about John Deacon: _he’s a fucking genius_. He’s always the most sensitive and perceptive from they four, so of course what Roger was doing wouldn’t pass unnoted by him.

And now John was wearing his protection pose: shoulders down, thumbs on his pockets, eyebrows looking like a straight line. Nothing could pass throught him now.

“Are you trying to use me as a booby prize?” now John’s voice is cold.

“No, John, I-” Roger didn’t know what to do, but he really wanted to say to John he was talking about him, just another universe version of him.

But Joe’s face – not full body Joe, just his face – appears behind John’s shoulder. “Peekaboo. I see you.” sings the angel. 

By the way John looks to him he couldn’t hear Joe. That angel had too many powers!

“Just a quick remind about what you can’t do. Wink, wink. Bye.” and as soon he appeared soon the creature was gone.

Roger looks to John again. The drummer could see he hurt the brunet. And the most stupid thing is the third person didn’t exist! And he couldn’t fucking tell him.

“I think I should go.” John says.

“John, let me...” but ‘let’ what? Roger didn’t know what to tell now.

“See you later.”

And Roger watches John leave, holding the tears until the bass player close the door behind him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joe, you beautiful and stupid angel


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look who's here :)

Joe was chatting with Gwilym, Ben and Rami. They are the angels he likes to talk the most, because they accept him and didn’t judge him to help a living being from Earth. They already did this, a couples of centures before, and they knew how humans are charming, with their suffer and love stories. Joe likes to call them by thoqse names because it’s what they called when they traveled on Earth.

“Love. What a dumb concept.” comments Rami. “Trying to find in other compilation of mass the lack of their own fulliness.”

“They battle with each other because of it, plent of times, actually.” says Gwilym. “And finish other person’s existence just like that.” and he snaps his fingers.

“And they do symphones about love, or the lack of love, or one-sided love.” praises Ben, and then he looks to Joe, who’s looking down to the planet. “How is your human, buddy?”

Joe doesn’t want to answer, because he thinks he did a bad job to take him back.

When Roger started to cry after John left Freddie’s flat, Joe got worried how he could react after, but he thought that Roger was more strong than he looks like.

But he’s wrong.

See, minutes before Joe took Roger back to 1971 he watched the blond’s life, just to know him better, since the day he got born until the day he visited John’s grave, his last day as an old man. It took a couple of hours to see the crazy life of Roger Taylor, all the childhood violence, he meeting Brian May and Freddie Mercury after and then John Deacon. He saw every fight the drummer got into, every crazy parties he throw, every woman and man he slept. Some scenes weren’t pleasant, some of them were painful, but when Joe finally met Roger in that street corner he knew everything about him.

Joe probably knew more about Roger than Roger himself.

But for some reason, even previously knowing how the blond deal with frustration, the angel thought Roger could be more mature since he needed to deal with tough choices in the last weeks, and his hopes were high. After all he couldn’t have chosen a dumb human to having this experience.

Turned out he did choose a dumb human.

The rehearsal after that Roger showed up pretty late and pretty drunk. Brian pratically needed to hold him so the drummer couldn’t fall. John got speechless with it, and when Roger looked to him he tried to say something, but instead he throw up. It was a big mess.

The next days after that weren’t better than that. Brian or Freddie couldn’t find Roger, and everytime they went to his flat he didn’t answer him. The guitar player needed to threat to break down the door so the blond could open it, but he only did to said to them to leave him alone and close it again. In those moments Roger rather be alone, so he could suffer.

John didn’t even try to talk to him, so in Roger’s mind it’s over.

The drummer started to push everyone away from him, because it’s the only way he knew to deal with pain. Brian and Freddie tried everything: leave some notes that he throw down the door, saying that Roger could talk to him if he wanted to and they would be with him no matter way (and Roger never read the notes, just tear them); waited for him buy groceries to try to talk to him (but after the first time they did this, the blond asked a neighbour to buy his groceries).

And then Freddie asked John to talk with Roger, saying that he could make some difference and that Roger could have a soft spot for him (and he knew damn well John had).

Up there Joe saw hope.

In a Wednesday, John went to Roger’s building, and the angel knew that the bass player thought it’s a bad idea, but even still he walked to the blond’s door and knocked three times. 

He heard an annoying groan, like Roger was tired of people knocking his door – and John knew how many times his bandmates did this in the last few days – but John knocked three times again. Some steps inside the flat and a really angry Roger opened the door.

“Jesus Christ, I’ll end yo...” and Roger saw John. “John. You’re...Wow, hi.”

The blond didn’t shower in days, neither brushed his teeth, and his hair wasn’t prettily ravished, it’s just...ravished. The brunet looked surprised when he saw him.

“Hi, Rog. Just checking how are you.” John’s voice didn’t sound worried or careful. Looks like he’s talking with a stranger. “Brian and Freddie are really sick with worries about you.”

Joe was at the sky, looking so intensilly down there that he could fall. His expectations to this meeting were high.

Roger looked to John, trying to understand why he was here. The bass player seemed really upset last time they saw each other, and the blond wasn’t expecting to see him outside the rehearsals, and the only thing he wanted right now is to sob. But it only could make him look worse in John’s eyes.

“And you? Are you worried about me?” asked Roger, his curiosity winning.

John bit his lip, and from above Joe was almost yelling to he answer ‘yes’, but the brunet wouldn’t hear him anyways. “Just go to the rehearsals, mate. We need our drummer back.” and without saying anything, John left.

Being indifferent with Roger would be way worse than just saying ‘no’.

So the drummer did what John asked him, and he started to showed up in the rehearsals again, putting a smile on Brian and Freddie’s faces. But just for two seconds. Besides few moments that Roger really needed to ask them something about the songs or tempo, the blond remained silent, and refused to make eye contact with John, what the brunet understood quickly and did the same. The guitar player tried to piss him off, just to Roger fight with him, to make him express any emotion, but he didn’t sucess. Freddie started to worry if Queen could survive this year.

And then Roger met an old friend again: cocaine. The first time was such a relief for him, his body feeling that known pleasure. Being numb and forget a bit about what’s really going on what’s the only thing Roger could desire. And he laid down on his flat floor, with a dumb smile on his face after the hours of adrenaline.

But as soon he restarted with the drugs he realized he always needed more. The moments of suffer didn’t pass so easily, and every time the effect of the drug finished the feelings hit him strongly, and the crying and the anger ate him inside out, like a dark well with no end. So everyday the portion was bigger than the day before, getting inside him by the nose or by the gum, and Roger could see – even with closed eyes – a rainbow destroy his emptiness.

After a week seeing Roger not getting better with it, Joe said to himself he needed to do something. Because he needed to prove Roger Taylor worthed the trouble of a time travel.

Even he didn’t want to, Ben looked down to the human his dearest friend was protecting. He saw humans going to death because that weird substances that fakes happiness and joy; he did try it once, and he realized how poor the Earth residents were to feel better with such a swallow thing.

But, after a night seeing Joe getting nervous with that person, and bit his beautiful well-shaped lower lip, the angel looked how Roger Taylor was.

Roger was sitting on his bedroom corner, his eyes tired and wet, and he looked he didn’t have a bath in a week, and he was thinner than usual. His flat arm has a little bag with a white powder in hand, and something on Ben’s body alert him. He turned to Joe, calmly – he didn’t really care about that life, but he really care about Joe’s sanity – and said “Your human will die for overdose if he inhale that.”

“This old idiot! I thought he’d have learned something from the last time.” commented Joe, and he seemed frustrated to the other creature.

Ben just rolled his eyes. “Go help him. You won’t be satisfacted until you go down there.”

“Do you think I should?” Joe looked the other with big puppy eyes, and Ben nodded.

“I do.”

Roger was about to inhale the cocaine, thinking he needed just a little more to survive the day, and he stops when he sees the angel sitting in the bed. There’s some days without having a word from him. “Finally seeing your whole body.”

“I needed to put it all down to ask you what you’re doing. That’s not what you said you’d do if you come back.” Joe points to the bag of cocaine.

The drummer looks to it and back to the angel and shruggs. “It’s what I do.”

“I didn’t get you back to revive the crazy 70s. You’re here because you claimed John is the love of your life.” Joe stands up and went to him, sitting on Roger’s side and touched his arm.

If before Roger was tired and almost asleep of inanination, now he’s more awake and feeling well. He looked to the angel and said, with a sad tone “John shoved me down. He didn’t want me.”

“And now you’re trying to sniff the drug industry of the fucking entire England because you think John Deacon doesn’t love you?” the angel raises an eyebrow.

Roger got lost in words for some seconds, after a freaking angel curse in front of him. Then he got back together. “I don’t think, I know he doesn’t want me.”

“John never said he didn’t want you.”

The drummer passes his hands nervously over his face, a bit tired of this talk. “He thinks he’s a pity prize.”

“Of course. You talked about someone you love for ages.”

“But it’s him!”

“But he doesn’t know that, genius!” and soon he’s giggling. “Thank God you’re what people call ‘hot’, because you’re not that smart.”

Roger sighs. He looks exhausted to the angel, and Joe says “I know you’re tired of pretending you don’t care when you’re hurt inside.”

“Using your powers of reading minds again?” the blond gave him an annoyed smile.

“No. Your face give it all away.”

Roger sat next to the angel, and he put a hand on the drummer’s shoulder. The warmness that the touch exudes makes the blond almost feel better. But when he looks to Joe his eyes are red, and tears run over his face. Joe feels empath for him and squeezes his shoulder.

Despise the fact that Roger Taylor is a stubborn man, he deserves a love story.

“I will give you one more chance.” says softly the angel, and he snaps his fingers.

They are in Freddie’s flat, and a song is playing. Roger stands from Freddie’s couch, surprised, and looks around, trying to understand what’s happening.

“You’re again at that night you danced with John. He left the flat just now.” explains the creature.

The drummer looks a little torn, trying to function again, and the angel stands up too, and he shakes him strongly. Roger blinks some times, and takes a deep breath.

“What about those days after this one?” asks Roger, confused.

“Erased.” Joe sees Roger nodding slowly, like he’s trying to put the information on his brain, or he’s too afraid to go to John. So he needs a little push. “Go get him. Go!” asks Joe, and Roger doesn’t say anything, he just goes to the door.

When the door closes again Joe smiles, thinks that at least looks like it’s going finally to the right direction.

The angel sees Freddie showing up in the living room, and the singer says “Where the hell are those two?”, but he doesn’t bother too much and starts to dance alone in the song rhythm, Joe looking his lonely show.

“I like your songs, Mr. Mercury.” comments the angel, even knowing that the human wouldn’t hear him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After some bitches told me to not make Roger a slut, I changed some things in this chapter, so thank them


	14. Chapter 14

Roger runs out the flat. He could do different this time, for real. That days he was out he just could think of how stupid he was to be so difficult to John. When you’re in love you shouldn’t make tricky games. You must just go ahead and take it.

When Roger finds John he’s almost at the corner and he shouts him, feeling he’s in a romcom movie, but he doesn’t care. John turns around, frowning with the calling, and Roger goes to him, breathing heavily. It’s the fucking time.

“What you want, Roger?” John sounds tired. And he really was. “I said I don’t want to be a toy or a solace for your broken heart.”

“Sorry, John, for make you feel that way. It wasn’t my intention.” Roger apologized, feeling so stupid for playing with John.

John waited for something, staring to Roger quietly, because by Roger’s anxious look it seems he still has something to say. But the words look so hard to Roger to say. The fear was painfully closing his throat.

“That’s it? Did you have anything else to say?” asks John, and Roger knew he’s outside his comfort zone.

Roger knew that if John was doing this he could do as well. “I lied to you. There’s no other guy.” Somewhere inside Roger starts to ache; the other John _existed_ , in another universe, and it was because of him that right now the drummer is in love for this John. “I was just bragging myself.”

“Why?” John raises an eyebrow, not buying the blond’s story.

“Because...” Roger takes a deep breath. “Because the person I’m interessed is you.”

Roger couldn’t believe he said it. Out loud. The street is empty that hour, just a couple of cars passing in the parallel street, but still sounds like Roger just screamed.

It seems stupid, but Roger wants to laugh. How he waisted decades of his life to say a simple sentence? How it was so hard to spill it out, and when he finally did it was so easy? The drummer wished he didn’t have to pass all that pain to realize how this wasn’t complicated at all.

John parts his lips a bit, looking shocked what he just heard. Roger swallow dryly watching John not responding him, and if in seconds before he’s in ecstasy right now his anxiety is coming back. The silence is getting thicker, and Roger wants to ask Joe to go back to 2019, because the embarassment of no having an answer is horrible.

Roger sees John coming back to his normal self and asking, with curiosity “And why you thought that inventing a person would make an effect on me?”

The blond thinks a bit, trying to escape of this difficult question. But he rather to say the truth. “I never liked a guy before. It was a little hard to me to accept this, and believe or not I’m not so used to not knowing what to do.” The drummer sees John giggle, and for him seems a good sign.

“I must say that I can picture Freddie, obviously, and even Brian, but I never imagined that you could fancy men.” comments John, amused.

As the millenium kids would say, John hadn’t a great gaydar.

“Brian?” laughs Roger. The guitarist will have many affairs, but always female, and Brian was the most straight person Roger ever knew. The portion of straightness Queen needed – only him could resist Freddie’s flirts in the early days. “Not bloody likely.”

“I’m allowed to make mistakes.” John looked again to him, more light than before. “So that’s why you’re being weird with me at first?”

Roger takes a step forward, getting closer to the brunet. “Yeah. Sorry about that, by the way. Usually I’m better at flirting.” The blond wanted to take John’s hand, but he stops – damn seventies and its homophobia. “I know it’s risky to mess with the partnership and all, but I’ll go insane if I don’t know if I have a shot.”

“But if it’s risky why you’re making the effort? Do you not care about the band?”

Roger takes a deep breath. This question deserved the answer that’s right in the tip of the blond’s tongue, but he couldn’t tell the truth – again. “Because I have a good feeling about this, and about you. We’re a great pair as the rhythm section, and I’m sure we...” he needed to stop himself, or it could be too much.

They stay in silence for a bit, John blushing while he looks to the ground. Roger feels he did everything he could do. Now he’s entirely on John’s hands – as usual.

“Are you sure you wanna do this? There’s no way back.” John asks, with a strange shine on his grayish-green eyes.

A smile appears on Roger’s lips; that’s the most certain thing he has in his life, this one and the other. “I’m sure.”

John crosses his arms, looking more serious, ans Roger knows that, no matter what, he’ll get the answer now. “Three dates, and if I don’t believe in you, I’ll leave Queen. I wouldn’t handle to be in a band with someone I don’t trust.”

Roger stops breathing. Are his ears betraying him or John said ‘yes’? 

A nervous smile grows on the drummer’s face and he nods, trying to muffle the fireworks that are burning on his stomach. “Okay, then.”

“Now I really should get going. It’s late.” John puts his hands on his coat pockets, being so casual that looks like they’re chatting about the weather, not like they just agreed to have a date – only if he knew how Roger waited for this, for so long... “Can you, please, not mention anything to Brian and Freddie? We’re still knowing each other and...I know you’re best friends and all, but this isn’t something I share, you know?”

Roger was still processing the fact it’ll be a date, a real one, with John Deacon. And he automatically nods, but inside he’s already planning everything, because he needs to be perfect in every moment, so he could have John to himself.

“Good night, Rog.” said John, with a shy grin.

“Good night, Deaks.” Roger felt that he almost said ‘my’, but he refrained himself. It needs to be in the right time.

Roger watchs John turning around again and restart to walk, and stays in silence until he reachs the other street to go back to Freddie’s flat. Some moments after he sees Joe waiting for him in the sidewalk, with a proud smile.

“Finally, Roger!” exclaims the angel. “I thought I’d need to get inside your body to form the words for you.”

“I was so nervous.” Roger takes deep breaths. He’s still not believing that he’ll be an actual date with John.

And he lean in and hugs the angel. Joe blinks confused – maybe because he never thought Roger could hug him on purpose – but soon he hugs the blond back.

Humans could be dumb, but they are nice creatures too.

“Thank you.” says Roger, still on Joe’s warm arms.

“You did it by yourself, buddy. I only helped with a couple of things.” some modesty is on Joe’s voice. And when they break the hug the angel says “I know you need to break your promise with John, so go tell Freddie about the date. I bet he’ll go nuts to help you to prepare these three dates.”

And Freddie yelled when Roger said John accepted to have three dates with him, and gasped with the last information. “Did he say he would leave Queen if he didn’t believe in your interest?” asks Freddie, hands on his face.

“Yeah.” Roger doesn’t believe how risky the whole thing is. His love story could cost Queen life after all.

“Now I have the moral duty to help you with this thing! Queen can’t die.” Freddie goes to Roger and grabs the drummer’s arms, shaking dramatically.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare yourself for these dates...


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @unicorndeaky on twittwr and hudsteith on tumblr

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So let's the dates begin...  
> And enjoy a Maylor moment

Roger thought that Brian should know about John too. The hardest part was too talk with the brunet, so spill to his oldest friend would be easy.

They two are walking to their flats after uni, Brian talking about a Advanced Physics class with passion – most of the uni thing Brian talks Roger never understood – when Roger says “Brian, we need to talk.”

“Oh, shit. Are you not gonna leave the band, are you?” asks the guitar player, looking to his friends.

“No, hell no.” smiles the blond, making the curly-haired man more chill. “It’s about someone.”

“Another bird? I must say you’re quite slow these few months. I didn’t see you with anyone.” teased Brian.

“So, that’s exactly the point. Because I’m in love with someone.” Roger looked around, to notice if he’s covered. “With a bloke.”

Roger expected that Brian stopped walking and open his mouth, shocked, or at least looked surprised, but his friend just kept going, like the revelation the drummer did was nothing. Brian was used to be around gay people – Freddie was a close friend after all – but Roger thought about him being him. ‘A lady man’, as the man liked to say.

“It’s Deaky?” questions Brian, frowning, a real curious look in his face.

“I-I...What...” stutters the drummer, frigthened with his friend’s reply. Why all his friends were too smart?

“How do you know?”

“Roger, being subtle would never be an adjective I’d use to describe you for a reason.” laughs the older man. “You’re running around him since his audition, and you have...” Brian shrugged, with a coy smile.

The blond doesn’t follow. “What?” 

“You know. _The look_.” Brian sees his friend still wearing a question mark on his face and sighs. “I don’t know how to describe. It’s like a dumb yet soft face when John does something, like smiling or blushing.”

Roger did see something like that on Freddie’s face when he’s with Jim Hutton.

“Did I...have this face?” asks Roger, quite shy.

“Big time, mate.” nods the guitarist.

They keep walking some minutes without talking. Roger knew it’d be easy with Brian; Freddie and Adam were great friends with them and Brian never showed other behavior unless act normally around them. Their business, as the old guitar player always said. 

Roger never could ask for better friends.

They arrive in front of the blond’s flat building, and before Brian leaves he asks “Now tell me: there’s a special reason to you tell me that?”

“Oh, yeah. I asked him out.” smiles the drummer, so proud of himself. “He said if he thinks it’s a prank, he’ll quite from Queen.”

“Okay.”

Roger, again, expected a overreacted reaction from his friend, but, again, he didn’t get it. “Are you not worried?”

“No. You’re also known as a sttuborn man, and never received a ‘no’, so I’m believing you won’t receive one now.”

•••

Roger’s so fucking nervous. He keeps thinking they weren’t getting married – ‘yet’ grins the blond – but the fact it’s a date with John fucking Deacon is getting him nuts. Not only because he could destroy his band, but because he waits for this moment since the first time he’s twenty-one. So a lot on his plate. He never was on so much pressure.

He rings John’s flat bell trying not to panick. “Fuck you, Rog. You can do this.” mutters him, trying to calm himself down.

The door opens and Roger sees John greting him with a light smile. Roger gives him his best half smile and says “Hi, Deaks. Ready to go?”

Then brunet looks to the blond up and down and frowns. “I guess I’m too dressed up.” Roger looks the bassist’s wearing a really fancy silk shirt. “Wait a second. Come inside.”

John goes to his room, while Roger inds his way inside the flat. He has so great memories in this flat: all the meetings the band did there, the times Roger needed to crash at John’s couch because he’s too wasted, and when he heard for the first time John’s first contribution to Queen, Misfire.

“Where are you taking me?” asks John, from his bedroom.

“To a disco club.” responds Roger, walking in the living room, with a nostalgic smile on his face.

“What a nice choice. I like disco.” 

“I know.” Roger smiles, and – because this John never said this to him – quickly adds “By the way you like to dance around, of course you’d like disco.”

And Roger stops when he’s in front of John’s bedroom door. He didn’t notice when he’s walking to there, but noted the door was slightly open, and he looks inside. It seems John finally found another shirt that’s better to the occasion, and he starts to undress himself. For some reason Roger reminded of a tv show that teen John was the narrator, but the laugh died when John took off the shirt for put on other.

Just some seconds of is back exposed, and Roger just wanted to go there and kiss the brunet’s pale skin, run his lips over there and help John to undress the pants too. The drummer’s hands itches to touch him, to know how is the feeling of clawing Johh’s body, the pleasure of craving his short nails during sex with the bassist.

“Are you looking at me, Rog?” questions the bass player, took Roger out of his track. Fortunally, John didn’t turn around, but just got curious with Roger being silent.

The blond took two steps behind, getting away from the door. “I would never, Deaks!” Roger runs his hands over his face, almost screaming.

“Good, so I’m ready to go.”

John shows in the living room again, with a cotton white shirt, that’s fine to Roger. John could wear anything and he’d always put it off.

“The only rule about these dates: no talk about Queen, or band rehearsals. It’s all about us, okay?” demands the blond.

“Okay, but...How we can be on a date if we’re going to disco?” John raises an eyebrow.

“It’s a gay disco club.” Roger says in a pretty chill tone, while John seems fearful.

“I don’t know you, Rog, but I don’t want to be bashed.”

“Don’t worry, John. We won’t.” and Roger look to the ceiling with a strong look.

•••

It’s a really discret pub, with no much to identify it as a gay place. But you only could get inside if you know the week password. This week is ‘pillow princess’. 

“Did you already come here?” asks John, curious.

“Oh, never. My first time.” responds Roger.

“And how did you know this place?”

“I have my resources.” and Roger sees John raising an eyebrow, humming. “Freddie.”

“Of course.”

The party already started, some people dancing around, some drinking and talking in the booths, some kissing with their partners in the corner. Mostly men, but there’s some shy girls there too. Roger could see there’s a different pub from the other he usually goes.

After his sexuality awakening, Roger felt the need to know these places, where he didn’t need to hide or to be afraid to be bashed by someone. As the one he’s with John, gay places at the 70s were pretty small and pretty exclusive, just a way to protect their costumers, because every week a news of someone being beatten to death didn’t cheer anyone to go out and be themselves proudly like straight people could be. But Roger wouldn’t let this blow his chance to have his own experiences.

He always going out alone, without Freddie or any gay friend he had. Having these moments alone made Roger sad, because he needed to figure some things by himself, without any help, and sometimes the blond wanted to have someone to share or to laugh with. But it was his choice.

In other hand, a gay club is more cheerful than the other clubs. People like to talk more, and made Roger laugh more easily, like they didn’t try to impress the Queen drummer. There Roger wasn’t a famous rockstar, he’s just a normal hot blond man. Anyone could talk to him equally.

John looks to the dance floor and then back to Roger and wearing a grin he asks “Do you want to have a drink first or you can dance sober?”

“I think you’re doubting my dancing skills.” smirks the drummer. “I’m not you, but I know how to dance.”

“Then show me.”

And John takes Roger’s hand and walks to the dance floor.

At first Roger just watches John dancing freely. The bass player doesn’t need much to his body move, his hips already wiggling with the music rhythm, his shoulders stirring up and down. The brunet’s eyes are closed so he can’t see the silly smile Roger has on his face when he tilt his head in sync with the song beat, his long hair swinging.

There’s something etheral on John dancing. Anything could be more endearing than see John enjoying himself without worrying with the others’ look while he’s dancing. When he’s dancing, his shyness disappeared and a more sassy man embodies him, brave enough to control the room when the music begins. And of course Roger’s eyes can’t get away from him, a spell he doesn’t want to break.

When John opens his eyes he notices Roger staring at him, and even in the dark light of the club he can see the intensity of the blond’s glance. “Are you just gonna look, or you’re gonna dance?” frowns the brunet.

Roger crosses his fingers with John’s and pulls closer, and starts to dance like him, smiling to the other.

•••

After almost a hour in the dance floor, John wanted to have a drink, so they found a booth to them. And the brunet started a game with Roger.

“You should guess if I’m telling a true or false. If you’re right, I drink. If you’re wrong, you drink.” states John.

“It’s not fair to you.” points Roger.

“Why?”

‘Because I know all your stories and it’s basically cheating’ thinks Roger, but out loud he speaks “Because you’re too predictable. I mean, you’re the kind of guy that probably never skipped a band rehearsal and yet had all A score at school.” 

John lets an “Ow” out of his mouth, looking surprised.

“So, to be fear, you ask me questions.” the blond signs.

“And if you cheat the game?” the bass player teases, frowning.

“These dates aren’t about you trusting in me?” 

John stares at him for some seconds, and then he shruggs.

“What’s your biggest fear?” John questions.

“Not being famous.” Roger smiles; that’s one of his biggest fears at that time.

The brunet scans his whole face, trying to find some trace of a lie, but in the end he says “True.”

Roger’s smile wides and he nods, drinking his own beer. 

“Do you regret have left at the dental school?” asks John.

“Uh, sometimes.” Roger wears a really bland face.

“True.”

The drummer grins and he yells “I didn’t regret a bit! Now drink.” and the blond sees the younger one take a big sip of his beer, making a weird face after it.

Some questions are made, some random and general, some more intimate. Roger likes to see John asking things the other John would never ask him after three years of partnership. Maybe asking him out made him more brave than Roger thought.

Until now John got more questions right than wrongs, drinking only three sips until now. And the blond said to himself that he’d call the night when John’d be slightly drunk, because he didn’t want to seem he took some advance of it – he needs to conquer him properly, after all.

With some liquid courage, John tells to Roger about some guys that were looking to the blond, sometimes waving to him. One was pretty bold and asked to him if he wanted to join his booth, and Roger needed to point out that he’s on a date, the man looking shocked to John, like he can’t understand how the blond could be interested on him.

He didn’t know how much interested Roger was. But he’d say it someday.

“What are you think right now?” requests John, with a coy smile.

Without thinking too much – because this is something is on his mind constantly, specially tonight – Roger answers “That I like you. Very very much.” and he smiles to the other. He noted John gets silent, and he presses “So, true or false?”

John blinks twice and then he speaks “The only thing I know it that this guy is looking at you since you came here.” and the brunet discretly points to a ginger man, who’s next to the bar, and when Roger looks to him the man smiles shyless. “Wow, it’s like I wasn’t even here. I mean, he’s not _the only one_ who’s watching you in the exact moment. It’s like you’re in a fucking spotlight.”

“Jealous already, Deaky?” teases the drummer, and John tries to mubble something.

After some moments, the bassist finds some words and praises “Just take me to home.” 

After paying for the beers, they went out the club. Roger knew that, even with the exclusive club thing, it could be a chance they’d be bashed out at the place, so he made the request to Joe, and he hopes the angel got it.

The walk to the car was calm, and the run to the home too. John seems a little asleep, so there’s no much talking exchanged, and to Roger it’s okay. It seems a pretty good night – and he still has two more.

And the car parked, it looked John woke up, and he looked to Roger, who’s grinning to him.

“It was a nice date, Rog.” points John, with a shy smile.

“Indeed.” nods the blond, proud. “And nobody got hurt.”

“That was the best part.” giggled John. And after some moments of exitation, he says “But I must say I didn’t notice you trying to kiss me all night.”

Roger sees John’s pair of eyes lookings at him, not with teasing or disappointment. Just curiosity.

John has no idea how bad Roger wants to kiss him right now, in the middle of the street. How much the blond wants to kiss him everytime they see each other, how many nights he dreamed with their lips met and how deeply he wants to this day come.

But Roger also knows everything is in the game with their dates. Queen, John’s friendship with Roger, Brian and Freddie, and all the things John built because of that. So he couldn’t screw it up being reckless.

“John, you said you want to trust me, so that’s what I’m doing.” Roger takes John’s hand, that’s resting on the brunet’s leg, and squeezes it.

A blush covers John’s cheeks. “Okay. Good night.” and he gets out of the car, going to his flat.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From those who doesn't know, John was the narrator of a show named How to Undress in Public without Undue Embarrassment at 1965. The mf was 13/14 yo. We stan a savage boy.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So two days ago my friends went to Queen concert and just yesterday they met Roger. Am I jealous? HELL NO ~~yes~~  
>  Hold the sugar

After a band rehearsal – that Roger strongly asked to Brian and Freddie to not make jokes about the rhythm section, because in theory they didn’t know about Roger and John’s date – the drummer waits John to grab his stuff to ask “Ready to our second date?”

John blinks confused, and after looking around and see Freddie and Brian chatting he replies “When?”

“Right now. We just need to stop at my flat.” the blond smiles.

“Right now? We just spent the whole afternoon jamming. I’m tired and starving.”

“And that’s why we will bring some food with us.”

With that John agrees with it, and they two say goodbye to the others, Freddie and Brian making faces to Roger just to tease him, without John note.

Roger just passes at his flat to get a basket with some food and drinks, John waiting for him at the car. He uses the opportunity to look around and say “Joe, I don’t know if you’re here, but I need your help. No one can see us.”

“Got it, buddy.” Joe’s voice fills the flat, surprising the blond.

“Shit, you’re always around, you just don’t want to show yourself, aren’t you, little sh-” Roger’s laughing, but the angel cuts him before the end.

“Curse me again and I make you ugly.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

“Ugh, it’s impossible!” exclaims the voice. “Even old you’re charming!”

Roger giggles and goes out of his flat.

The drummer chooses a park to have their picnic, a nice spot where there’s a bunch of ducks and he shows to John what he brought to them. Some tea with honey, bread (to feed the ducks), boiled eggs, fruits and...

“Cheese on toast? How do you know my favorite breakfast meal?” smiles John, looking to Roger.

Roger blushed, making a little bit guilty to use the knowledge he already had about John to impress him, but just a little bit. “I didn’t.” lies Roger, but smiling back to the brunet. “I thought that after the rehearsal could be a bit hungry, so I made myself some snacks. Eat before you thank me. It can taste bad.”

“Come on, it’s cheese on toast, you can make it wrong.” teases John, and the bass player takes one of the basket and gives a bite. He chews, without transparencing if he’s liking or not. And when he swallows John says “It’s good.”

“Yes!” even it’s not too much, the blond celebrates, making the other giggle. “I know I could charm you with my cooking skills.”

“Again, it’s just cheese on toast.”

Roger waits John eat and drink – he’s really hungry – to take the bread and walk with him closer to the lake. When they noted the humans, the ducks swim to them, already waiting for the feed. John smile before he take two pieces of bread to throw to the lake, the ducks running to take the food. It’s just silly, but Roger is enjoying it.

“Can I ask you a question, John?” Roger speaks, and John nods, without taking his eyes away from the ducks. “Did you have experience...with this?”

“With feeding ducks? Yes, I have.” John says, teasing the blond, who rolls his own eyes.

“You know what I mean.”

Since John accepted his request it’s something that’s on Roger’s mind. He never really thought of John having male affairs. 

Just as the other three, John wasn’t a faithful man, even that he didn’t like to show his conquers like his bandmates. John could spend the whole after party chatting with someone and discreetly walked away with the person. And with he being the most popular Queen member, John really had a great time with the Japanese girls. Roger hate to remind all the times he needed to pretend he’s okay seeing John kissing and squeezing someone else.

In fact one of Roger’s top five worse moments of his life was when he saw a groupie sucking John off in the middle of one of their ‘exclusive parties’. The face of pure pleasure that the brunet wore that day hunted Roger for days.

But John also attracted some male fans as well. Everyone thought by logic that Freddie’d be the only one from Queen who’s asking out by men, but Roger witnessed some bold blokes calling John to come home with them, buying drinks for the bass player or even trying to kiss him, and until now the drummer never saw John accepting seriously any of those. And for some reason imagine John with another man is way hurtful than John with women.

“I did kiss one or two blokes, if that’s what you’re asking me.” John responds, still not looking to Roger.

“Did you like it? You don’t have to answer if it’s too personal.”

John takes more pieces of bread to throw in the lake and he uses the moment to stare at Roger. The blond sees beautiful green eyes looking to him, and his heart stopped for few seconds over the youngest’s beauty. “Maybe.”

Roger needs to use all his strength to not kiss John right now. It isn’t the right moment.

“I know I wouldn’t be in trouble talking about my sexuality with you and Brian because you’re friends with Freddie, but I’m a traditional british, I don’t talk freely about my life. I’m really scared how easily I’m talking about it with you.” John bites his lips, blushing.

“Hey, there’s nothing to be scared of. I’m a chamber, your secret is safe with me.” Roger winks to the brunet, making him giggle.

They keep feeding the ducks in silence until they get out of bread, and then they sit in the grass, drinking tea and eating strawberries. John seems relaxed and his eyes are almost closed.

“Do you want to go home and sleep? You look tired.” comments the drummer.

“I am tired, but I’m liking being here with you.” and the brunet smiles, finishing his tea.

The selfish part of Roger wants to be there too, enjoying the bass player’s presence just for himself, but John said earlier that tomorrow he’ll have a test. “We can hang out tomorrow. Not like a date, but still.”

“Ok.”

In the way back home John is more quiet, now filled with food, just listening to Roger singing one of Freddie’s songs. When he could the blond takes quick glances to the brunet, looking the other resting his head on the window with his eyes closed, maybe taking a nap. If someday the idea to Ride the Wild Wind was different in the other universe, in this one it’ll be about this moment.

“Now you’re definitely watching me.” says John, out of nowhere.

“You’re awake, you bastard!” exclaims the blond, pretending he’s revolted. “I was just checking on you if you’re okay.”

“Is it how it calls at these days?” the younger one grins.

Roger bits his own lip. A real treasure this man.

When the drummer parks in front of John’s flat, the brunet opens his eyes and yawns. Roger moves to watch him scratch his whole body like a cat, enjoying the view, looking up and down. Jesus, it’s a tempting vision for him, and he can feel the need of touch raising, but he can’t...yet.

“It’s my turn to ask you something, Rog.” John says after look to the blond, who nods right away. “At the first rehearsals, Freddie told me you're too...available, to say at least.”

“I bet he didn’t use this word.” Roger giggles.

“He didn’t. Anyway, he said about you have a lot of girlfriends in a short period of time. So what I’m trying to ask is...Should I be afraid?”

Roger can feel his heart ready to pull out his mouth. Only if John knew how absurd is this question to the blond...Roger just wanted to answer that there’s no way he could cheat on him or even have another person on his heart that he wouldn’t be him.

“Yeah, I was pretty reckless and carefree about my dates, but I never gave them any expectations about me. I like to be sincere.” Roger tried to not laugh; he’s such a liar, but he need to make it right with John, so he knowing about him dating two girls at the same time wouldn’t help him at all. “And I want to give you expectations. Good ones, I mean.” 

“Good to know.” John smiles and lean in to give him a kiss on the cheek. “See you tomorrow, Rog.”

Roger sees him getting out of the car, walking so calm, like he didn’t just rock the oldest’s entire world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Joe, I know. Old Roger is still pretty damn charming.  
> God bless you, Sarina.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the waiting is over :)

Freddie liked to point how John was more easy-going ‘all suddenly’, talking loudly just to tease the drummer, who just rolled his eyes. Brian giggled with the comment, while John just murmured he just felt already welcome in the band.

The Queen front-man could hide a secret even if his life would depend on it.

A new gig was booked and they practiced their asses off, until Brian – who always agree with more rehearsals – asked for a fucking break. At least being occupied makes Roger not being nervous about the third date.

He still didn’t know what to do, but his major worry was with do something wrong; until now he’s on his best behavior, and it looks perfect, but what if he did anything that could erase John of his life, of Queen’s life? The blond never had modesty, and he knew how big Queen turned, but part of it was because the dynamic of the four members. No one never fit in with Freddie, Roger and Brian like John.

No matter how big was the argument or how loud was the fight, in the end they loved each other and God save the person that mess with one of them – that’s how family works, basically.

So the problem wasn’t getting till there, but maintain the harmony enough to not break the band because of their personal issues.

When the gig day came, Roger was all nerves, which is unusual, because the play was always the thing the relax him the most. John, expert of panic attacks, noted right away and look to Roger while he was sitting behind the drums, before the gig starts. “Hey, you’re okay?” asks John, concerned.

“I’ve been better.” Confesses the drummer, with a half smile.

“Go to your happy place, count backwards, ten to one, and then take a deep breath.” recommends the brunet.

Roger does what John said, and soon a more real smile wears the older face. 

“So where’s your happy place?” questions John, when the blond opens his eyes again, but Roger doesn’t reply.

He found the perfect place to the third date.

And the gig, like always, did great. Roger wasn’t nervous anymore, going back to his usual self, and he didn’t mind to stare to John during songs, being pretty obvious about it. Brian warned to stop staring while they’re in a pub, and the drummer gave no fucks.

The blond said to celebrate at his flat, because he had a cold beer there, but the reason was other, clearly.

When they come to his flat, Roger just takes two beers, says “Brian, Freddie, make yourselves at home. I need to show something to Deaky." grabs John’s hand and runs out to the flat, taking the brunet with him.

“Where are we going?” asks him, even if he doesn’t stop running.

“To my happy place.” the blond responds, climbing the stairs.

When they finally arrive at the building roof, Roger opens the door, letting John get in first. The sky was pretty beautiful in this night, with a full moon and shinings stars. 

“I always like to go here when I need to think. Please don’t tell Brian I like to watch the stars, or he’ll come to my ass with astrophysics facts and other shits, and I don’t think our friendship can handle it.” jokes the older one, handing the beer to John.

“Ok. I can keep a secret better than you.” agrees the bassist, taking a sip, and he sees Roger raising an eyebrow. “What? Do you think I didn’t notice that Brian and Freddie’s behavior around me changed since you ask me out? I’m not dumb.” 

A cold shiver runs on Roger’s spine. “Sorry.”

But John just shrugs, chill. “Don’t worry. You can make it up for me later.”

Roger bits his lips and nods, already imagining a bunch of ways to make it up for John.

And the drummer starts to talk about the stars, explaining to the other about the constellations and other things that John probably already knew but he’s letting Roger bragging himself to know science facts. Their dynamic there is just Roger talking first, and then John questioning him and the blond answering his doubt. 

With this light conversation their beers finished. Roger doesn’t know how much time he’s there with John, but in the end it doesn’t matter; an hour looks like an eternity and a whole afternoon seems so fast when he’s with John. Time becomes a simple formality between these two.

When a shooting star appears in the sky, John closes his eyes, and Roger looks to him. A smile rises on the bass player’s lips while he breaths calmly. There’s nothing more beautiful to admire than this, and Roger remembers – one more time – why he’s deeply in love for him over decades. Every line of that face was marked, years ago, on Roger’s memory, just to remind him that a person as perfect as anyone can be existed in his life, and it was John Deacon. 

“What did you wish for?” asks Roger, his heart beating fast for no reason.

“That you kiss me.” replies John, in a smooth tone.

Roger’s lips tremble when he heard the words. Even if the blond dreamed many, many times about this moment, the realization hits him hard. This isn’t a dream, it’s real life, and the urge to pitch himself comes, just to have a hundred percent sure he isn’t sleeping – waking up without John with him it’d be painful as hell – but he refrains himself.

The drummer gets in front of John, and the brunet opens his eyes again when he feels Roger’s fingertips touching his jawline, his thumb circling the space between the jaw and the lower lip. The shining on those blue eyes staring at the brunet kinda scares the latter, but Roger is far gone to properly mind. He imagined when this day comes – if it would come – his heart could explode, but the moment is there and Roger’s heart is calm, in peace. 

With his free hand the blond pulls John closer by his waist, and he can feel the bassist looking curious to him, but Roger is running his finger on the younger’s lips. Soft and delicate, as he always suspected. The joy of knowing he’s about to kiss John Deacon is too hard to handle and the drummer can feel his eyes getting watery.

“Are you gonna kiss me, Rog?” teases John.

“Can I please, have a moment?” Roger’s serious; he needs to remember this moment, because he waits for this since the first time he’s at 1971.

Roger can sense the anticipated anxiety rolling on his stomach, a good one tho, while the inches was getting smaller between them, and in each second a new thing is discovered: how John’s cheeks glow in the moonlight, a little sound the brunet does with his throat when his waist is squeezed, that his nose crinkles when something (in this case Roger’s own nose) touches it, the way he looks at when he closes his eyes before a kiss.

The drummer noted John’s eyes colour hundredths before it. Sea green, and to him makes sense; Roger always felt deeply drowning at every glance.

Their lips met with no hush, just a long peck while Roger wraps his arm over John and with the other hand he cups his cheek. Even that John is taller than the drummer – getting taller with the heels he never takes off – he puts his hands on Roger’s shoulders, and without waiting more he opens his mouth a little bit, fitting his lips on the blond’s ones. With that Roger fonds more their mouths, finally accepting it isn’t an illusion product, and he can enjoy the taste of those pinky lips on his own, trying not to melt over that moment.

It doesn’t matter how many lips he tasted, how many tongues touched his, nothing can compare of the fact that he had waited his whole life to know how is John sucking his lip or tilting his head a little to advance again on him, craving for more of the blond. He never felt so proud of not collapse after sense the bass player’s fingers pulling softly his hair, or to notice how John catch a breath just for two seconds to restart the kissing again.

But, besides all the sensations of finally knowing something that haunted him for years, Roger adores to feel how good they are together. He had a stupid fear that somehow they couldn’t match physically, and this whole road would be useless, hut now he notices how dumb he was to doubt. He’s always a great kisser, with a lot of good reviews, and Roger suspected that John, with all his modesty and shyness, was good as well. And now, catching the brunet’s upper lip with his teeth, the latter replying with a sound of pleasure, Roger has sure they are more than a good pair.

Moments passing and Roger, introducing his tongue on John’s mouth, feels that this is just the beginning. Every moment of pain and sorrow he passed through in the other life was now gone, and sensing how much the bassist invests towards him, not letting him go, the drummer experiences his feelings getting bigger and bigger. 

Maybe John felt something, because he pulled away, and he looks intrigued to the blond’s face. “Are you crying?”

Even that Roger wanted to say the reason why he’s crying – and John’d probably smile softly with it – he wipes the tear and says “It was a really good kiss.”, but thinking ‘A kiss I waited more than half of my life to’.

“Now you’re flattering myself.” smirks John, still with his body glued on Rogers.

“Did it work?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I will after two kisses or more.” he bites his own lip.

“Right away, Deaky.”


	18. Chapter 18

For Roger he can spend the rest of his life in that building roof, kissing John without stopping, but the younger one says it’d be best if they go back to Roger’s flat, or Freddie and Brian will tease them more than they already will. So, just after more kissing, Roger accept to share the brunet with his bandmates.  


The blond knew he’s walking downstairs, but to him it’s like he’s floating. He still can feel the flavour of John’s lips on his, the softness, the tenderness, and John really wanted to kiss him. It’s not a fucking one-sided love, it’s a mutual, and if depended just on him it’ll be until the end of his days.  


When Roger opens the flat door, Freddie and Brian are already walking to it. “Wait, where are you going?” asks the drummer.  


“Home. I’m sure it’ll be better than being third and fourth wheels for the rest of the night.” Jokes Brian, Freddie muffling his laugh with his hands.  


John’s face gets a strong red colour, and he hides his face on Roger’s arm, and the blond’s wearing a proud smile.  


“It’s your choice, but yes, please, go.” Roger steps aside, letting Brian and Freddie pass through it, they saying goodbye to the brunet.  


“I feel bad for make them go away.” comments John, getting inside the flat.  


“But I don’t. Come here.” Roger smiles and grabs John’s waist again, to glue their bodies one more time.  


Their lips find each other in a flaming need, Roger mouthing the other with a desire that never ends, and he can feel how much John wants him back. This lips don’t want to be apart, and feel the softness of John’s lips is so good that Roger just wants to keep feeling it.  


“You just kissed me for a non-stoping half hour.” Speaks John, between kisses.  


“What can I do if you have addicting lips?” fires back the blond.  


A minute without those lips on his can be death to Roger. He just found out how delicious is John’s kiss – not that it was a big shock. But now with John biting him precisely, with a hintch of pain just to make the older product a noise and go back to attack again, Roger understands that he just want that to his life. Kissing John is now part of his survival pack.  


And now his hands aren’t shy anymore. First they’re restricted to Roger’s hair and neck, but now they run over his back and chest, grabbing the drummer’s colarbone shirt in (if he can say) a very nautghy way, some fingers curling over the fabric while the index caressing his clavicle, and he swears, it’s pretty hot. He wants to make things slow with John, to not rush him in any way, but how can him, when John is on his arms, kissing so sloopy and makings sounds that can make Roger have a boner.  


Even that the bassist’s lips are swollen and aching, even that his hair is clumsy, even that he’s about to faint because he doesn’t breath for two minutes...John is a complete mess and Roger wants to keep kiss me. The brunet needs to break the kiss and hold Roger’s shoulders to not let him move forward. “I need to catch some breath.” And he smiles and says “You’re really trying to kill me.”  


“I didn’t even begin.” Roger grins, not letting John stay away from him, holding tight on his waist.  
John bits his lips, a dark shine glowing on his eyes. 

“Yeah? So what you wanna do with me?”  


“Are you sure you wanna know? We can take things slow.”   


“But I don’t want to.”  


Roger walks forwards, making John steps backwards, until the brunet’s back touch the wall, and the drummer’s breath gets faster while he scans the other’s face. “I want you to fuck me.”  


With that, John changes their positions, putting Roger against the wall, and starts to kiss his neck, wet lips touching his skin and making Roger shiver. The bassists’s hand grabs the blond’s leg and wraps around his own waist, squeezed when he’s gently sucking a place below Roger’s earlobe. “I guess I can fuck you.” a playful tone is on John’s voice.  


“Please, don’t make me beg.” But if he need to Roger’d beg.  


“You’re already begging.”  


Roger jumps to wrap his other leg on John, the brunet quickly hold him to not let both of them fall, and their mouths are already united again. The eletricity when they kiss is quite amazing, and Roger knows how much he can get drunk with John’s flavour. Their tongues are touching each other and everytime John sucks Roger’s the blond can’t refrain a moan. He always knew he’d be a howl mess over the bassist’s arms, but it’s insane how he’s melting with a kiss.  


So to fire back Roger pulls John’s hair strongly while he moves his head to profund the kiss, and the other responds with a bite, smirking during it. An amazing way to torture the drummer, and he will never ask to stop. Everytime their lips change places Roger feels his cock getting harder, and with his position John surely feels too, so maybe because of it the brunet is linger the moviments, making them more sensual.  


“Let’s go to the bed already.” Roger sounds pretty needy, but he doesn’t care.  


John, with a strength that surprises the drummer, walks with him to the bedroom, without stopping looking at him and giving him quick pecks. It’s a dream coming true.  


The bass player rests Roger in the bed with delicacy, and goes up his lap, kissing him again, with renewed desire, cupping the blond’s face with his hands. Roger kisses him back with the same energy, his hands finding John’s bum and squeezing. In the other universe he dared to smash John’s ass before some gigs, just as a ‘good luck’ teasing, but now he really can run his hands over it, without an excuse.  


The kiss is broken just to them throw their shirts, and Roger’s already unzipping his jeans when John’s stops him and speaks “That’s on me.”, making Roger bit his own lip and laid down in the bed.  


John laid over Roger, kissing his chest while the blond caresses the brunet’s hair, and the drummer sees the kisses getting lower and lower, John moving to the south. When he starts to kiss Roger’s belly, the bass player looks up and asks “You said you never had with a bloke before, so I assume no one ever took your ass, right?”  


Roger never thought of it. He never had sex with men before 1971, so if his body went back to his 21 years old, every part of it went back to. So he’s a ass virgin too. “Yeah.”  


“No problem. Can I blow you? So you won’t feel much discomfort when I scissor you.”  


John Deacon is asking to put his cock on his mouth. One of his major fantasies getting real in front of him. “Yeah, go ahead, Deaky.”  


The brunet kisses and biting his underbelly when his hands are occupied unzipping Roger’s jeans and putting it down. When he looks to the pants John passes his tongue on his upper lip, and he brushes his lips under the fabric, frictioning on the covered cock. A strong shiver runs over Roger’s spine. “Fuck, Deaky.” he breathes.  


“I will, just be a little more patient.” teases the brunet, and he lands his hand over the blond’s red pants, squeezed just a little bit, and he shows a devious smile. “I think it’ll be fun.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued...


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the most graphic chapter I ever wrote in my life. Enjoy.

Now he can undertand by experience why everyone who’s taken by the other John had a good time and filled the room with moans, because he’s daft with anything he did, and this John is daft as well, kissing the underline of Roger’s cock while he massages it, and a raw noise breaks on the drummer’s throat. After minutes with that the brunet finally put down Roger’s pants, revealing a hard cock.

He got himself off many times imagining this moment, but the pleasure of see John sinking his mouth over his cock is more than everything he felt before. The brunet’s mouth is so wet and warm, and he’s going down and down in a slow motion, letting the drummer enjoy every inch occupying John and he can feel the tip of his tongue rubbing on him. Roger can only suffocating with the sensation, gasping for air, and when the bassist’s lips finds the blond’s pelvis, he lets a suffering noise out his mouth.

John put his hands on Roger’s waist and starts to move his head up and down, in a speed Roger knows it’s too slow. But even with his age John should know what he’s doing, because the blond is squirming for him. Every part of the drummer’s body is slightly shaking; maybe he’d never get used with the idea of taking John to the bed, and in the current moment, with him with eyes closed like he’s having the best time sucking Roger’s cock isn’t helping at all.

The blond needs to remember to not misfire. Oh, fuck, Misfire will be about him in this universe? He hopes it’s not.

Roger’s hands goes to the bassist’s hair, kinda caressing, kinda pushing him to speed his motions, but the brunet just keeps going, and after hear Roger’s frustrated groan John pops out and teases “Calm down, Rog. I know about tempo too, you know.”

His mouth gets replaced by his hand, using his saliva as lube to stroke Roger, who restarts to gasping over his ministrations. And the blond rolls his eyes and misses when John put his middle finger on his mouth, making him wet, and he smiles proudly when he sees Roger holding on his mattress, new waves of pleasure hitting him hard. A lot of ‘fuck’ is shouted when John up his thumb, the fingertip contacting the head of his cock, one of Roger’s favorite moves in a handjob.

“I’m putting one finger now, okay? If you feel you can’t take it, tell me, right?” speaks John, with a really soft voice.

Like he isn’t about to finger his bandmate. And this makes Roger wonder if he’s soft with his other partners in the other universe. Before he gets lost in his thought track, the blond nods.

John’s mouth goes back to Roger’s cock while his finger starts to brush on the blond’s hole, and with a couple of moments Roger starts to feel the burning of the brunet’s finger getting into him.

He remembers vaguely his first time with a man. Roger was drunk, because he needed to forget that John said to Queen that he knocked up Veronica and he needed to marry her before her parents notice. The blond didn’t recall the man’s name, or face, or anything of him. He just remembers the burning, almost unbearable, when the man shoved him, without much care. The first minutes were pretty horrible, but the pain was replaced by pleasure – a feeling that almost made him forget that his man who’s fucking him wasn’t John. Almost.

But right now the pain isn’t unbearable. There’s a discomfort, of course, his body isn’t used to it, but John’s patient, keeping his finger still and watching Roger frowning his face with the sensation. “Are you sure you can take it?” asks John, putting his mouth out of Roger again, concerned.

Roger takes some breath, knowing he’ll feel better soon. “Yes, Deaky. Move this damn finger.” Smirks the blond.

John smiles and moves his finger inside Roger at the same time he restarts to blow him. A hint of pain mixed with pleasure, and the blond only can think that he should appreciate every second of it. _He lived again for this moment_.

Just when Roger’s face relaxes a bit and he starts to bit his lip that John moves faster his finger. The blond responds quickly and the pressure feeling is being replaced to joy more and more every time the bass player invests again on him. The speed gets faster everytime Roger moans, and cursing goes again, feeling pleasure in two spots on his body, John’s mouth and hands moving on the blond, and he even has strength to verbalize when the bass player asks him to put a second finger. He feels a contraction during the addition, a new wave crossing his insides.

He imagined John was good, but in fact he’s damn good.

The drummer wants to watch John doing all of that with him, he promised at some point for himself, but it’s impossible to keep his eyes open when he has two fingers coming and going inside him and a wet mouth sucking him hard, not being rational and shouting John’s name when his fingers hit his testicules, the pleasure getting to a higher level, and Roger tries to hold his tears; he’s not the type of person that cries during sex, but the person who’s with the blond can change that.

By this point the only thing Roger knows to do is crying out, grabbing John’s hair and moving his hips in sync with the brunet’s sucking, feeling that he’s enjoying as well, hearing his sounds over his cock.

Every time John hits Roger’s spot the blond curses louder, and maybe the bass player is liking to tease him, because he starts to move his fingers in circles, and Roger responds pulling his dark hair harder. Forming coherent words are difficult right now.

John scratches his fingers inside Roger, opening him up, and the older loses his breath when John moves his mouth, swallowing a bit more strongly, and he shivers with it. He won’t take much longer.

“John, fuck me already or I will not last long enough.” argues the drummer.

The brunet takes off completly Roger’s clothes and his own too, and then leans on the blond, still a bit concerned. “Are you sure? I don’t wanna hurt you.”

Roger looks down, watching with a watery mouth John’s hard cock. He saw it sometimes during backstage changing clothes or during Queen crazy after parties, and he really tried to not stare too long, or he could get hard. How many times he jerk off imagining touching his cock, sucking it, bottom-ing down on it, and just knowing that it’ll worth every move.

So he pushes John closer, to kiss him again, tasting himself on the bassist’s lips, and wraps his legs around John’s hips, making pretty clear what he wants when he closes his hand on his dick and positions it between his own ass cheeks.

They exchange a look, and maybe John’s waiting for a second thought, but when it comes to John Roger will never have a second thought anymore.

“Do you have any lube?” asks John.

Without break the eye contact, Roger opens the first drawer and grabs a lube, handing quickly to John, who grins with his action. The brunet uses a lot on Roger’s hole and on himself, looking he’s enjoying the quick handjob, and he throws the lube somewhere.

With the clean hand John cups Roger’s cheekbone and plaints kisses on the blond’s neck, brushing the tip of his cock on the other’s whole, and Roger can feel hot breaths on his skin; John’s excited just like him. His hand runs to the drummer’s hips and his eyes goes back to Roger’s when John finally sinks into him.

Some sounds escape on Roger’s throat, but he doesn’t let his face transpass the temporary pain he’s feeling. John’s eyes scans every fibre of his face, and when he’s totally inside Roger he says “You know, you’re my first too. I never slept with a man before.”

“Ow, how romantic.” teases Roger, but he’s really moved.

“Fuck you.”

“After you.”

John kisses Roger for some moments, waiting for him to adapt with the feeling and the length. The kisses makes the drummer forget a little about his ass being tear apart, and with some complaining noises John starts to slowly move.

He’s being very careful with it, and by his face Roger can see how big is his effort to not move faster. Fuck, the blond knows how delicious is to have a tight ass around him. So, just like the brunet teased him minutes ago, Roger sucks John’s lip with extra desire, pulling it while he makes a needy humming. John broke the kiss just to show a dark glance on his eyes. 

Roger will discover the real Deaky.

Holding the blond’s waist, John pulls out a tiny bit before thrusting into him again with a slow roll of hips. Roger has to close his eyes with the burn that comes with it, but the pleasure that spreads from down his spine to his whole body pulls out a breathless moan from out of him. He can feel John speeding up the moves, their bodies collading with strength, and the blond embraces the other, gluing with him as most as possible.

Now John’s thrusts are short, letting some gasps escape his lips while he feels Roger tensing up around him. It’s already ridiculous how much he’s crying out with pleasure, but John’s fucking him just right, his hips getting precise moviments, and Roger knows the bass player enjoys when he moves with him, his ass twerking on the mattress, and John just faints “It’s so good to fuck you, Roger.”

The brunet puts his cock inside Roger and stops for a moment, moving slowly, and the drummer just curlys up over the bed, a agonizying whimper on his throat, and John’s lips found his neck again, now sucking him sharply, letting a mark that will turn on a hickey soon. Lifting up a few inches Roger’s ass, John starts to move in sync with the blond’s body, and a loud moan fills the room, what the older thought it looked pretty much like his name.

They start to get sweaty, and the heat is growing, but they don’t want to stop, not when John’s hands start to travel on Roger’s skin, or when he whispers dirt talk on the blond’s ear, or when the bass player pulls the blond’s hair. He can faint, but Roger will never say John to stop fucking him. They have all night, and he’ll accept if John’s still into, and by the way the brunet’s thrusting on him with strength the drummer doubt he’s tired.

Roger grabs on John’s ass and tries a new speed, letting new moans getting out his lips with no shame; he already understood he’s a whining man over John’s ministrations, and it seems the little sounds of him is music for the bassist, because he keeps hitting on him, taking his breath away. A new trail of bad words is spoken before a kiss on the drummer’s lips.

“I wanna try something.” Says the brunet, with a grin, stoping a bit the moves.

“I’m all yours.” Smiles back Roger, not lying at all.

He didn’t knew how bendy his twenty-one years old body was, but John just unwraps his legs around him and extands them straight over his chest, Roger’s feet next to his shoulders, and then John spreads his legs a little, going forward in the gap between them. 

Roger shouts when he feels John’s cock chockes right on his testicles, unable to do anything else after the pleasure strikes his body in a hit. He tries to find air, being watched by John, who’s gripping his legs. The brunet is wearing a sassy smile, so unusual for him.

“Oh, fuck. Don’t fucking move, John!” claims the blond, almost fainting.

But, of course, John doesn’t want to obey, and he moves his hips a bit up, making Roger rolling his eyes feeling a strong brush in his sensitive spot. “ _Are you sure?_ ”

And with the strand of air he had Roger breathed “Fuck. Please move, Deaky.”

The brunet just grins, rolls his arms around Roger’s thighs and hits on the drummer again, making him shout. John pulls out slow just to push in fast, finding a new way to get the blond insane; at this time Roger is already seeing stars, trembling under the bassist. He really wants to be more active, but it looks all his strength is to whine, like a starving cat.

Roger sees John open his mouth to breath, looking tired but yet so overwhelmed, and when their eyes match a shine glows on the grayish green eyes, and he speeds the pace, they two groaning while they move in a perfect fit, and sometimes the blond feels how potent is John’s grip, knowning his bum will be sore tomorrow, but doesn’t care much, how good is the sensation of the brunet going in and out of him. 

The drummer can see how good is being for John too: the brunet’s biting his lower lip strongly, little whimps being heard every time he thrusts, and he can his body shivering when Roger calls him in a needy tone. Some hips moves and John gasps, Roger thinking how restrained he is when he’s already disheveled, and when the younger hits his spot again, he curls up. This man is so good, and Roger can’t be happier to let the brunet possess him.

Roger making an effort to lift himself on one arm, enough to be in a not uncomfortable angle, while the other he raises his hand to touch John’s face. Being so passive that night is not something the drummer likes, so when John stops a bit to catch some air he says “I wanna ride you.”

The bass player leans over Roger, releasing his legs just to reach the blond’s lips, kissing him with need, their mouths opened and starved for each other, starting a little fight for who’s dominating who, bites made here and there, sounds of lust being exchanged. When Roger realizes, John is envolving his back with his arms, changing their position with his cock still inside of Roger. In one moment they’re laid down in the bed, and now they’re sat, Roger on John’s lap.

John closes his eyes, looking like he’s enjoying the new position, his cock around the pulsing hole, and the brunet moans “Oh, Roger...”

The blond, who’s inches higher than him, looks to John with adoration and without any sound he mouths “I love you.”

He opens his eyes and looks to the drummer “Did you say something?”

The older panicks a little, not knowing what to do for some seconds, and because he doesn’t want to lie for John he kisses his lips again, and every kiss he gives the drummer moves his hips, sensing the pleasure hitting again when he shakes over John, gluing their bodies and feeling his cock brushing on the bassist’s belly, more connected with him than ever, and he restarts to curse one more time. John’s hands runs to the blond’s waist, trying to coordenate the moviments, but Roger speaks “Let me do this part.”

He holds on John’s shoulders to balance and squikens the pace, rubbing against the brunet, the cock rocking on his testicules stronger than before, and resulting on more shivers on his whole body. John kissing and sucking below his ear isn’t helping at all, and he could feel that he’ll colapse soon, hot breath next to his skin with the bassist saying how good is feeling Roger lapping him. “You’re so delicious – _Shit!_ ” John gasps when Roger starts squatting, moving his hips up and down without stopping.

Rotating the moves, Roger pulls John’s hair when the pleasure is almost unbearable to form words, the fulliness inside you being the only thing he can think of, and the bass player now responding smashing his bum. In this position the slaps make more effect, and to reply Roger pulls his hair harder. They play like this for some minutes, until Roger’s ass turns a space of red skin, too sensitive for new touches, making the blond’s untouched cock being the new target of his hands, holding it and moving his finger over and over.

Roger wants to warn John he’s about to come, but he can’t find air to speak up properly, when John’s mouth and fingers and cock are giving you many sensations that one day he’ll put words on, but right now only small ‘uh’ and ‘ah’ are what he can product, eyes closed of tireness. But the blond needs to feel in control, so he makes intense moves back and forth, and both men moan, in unisson, John not letting to stroke him, high up his pace. After some moments the blond opens his eyes, finding John looking to him, and with some moviments Roger let it go, feeling the release when the cum goes out his body, making the brunet and himself dirt. John reaches with own orgasm moments after him, a long and loud sound going out his lips.

The drummer lets himself fall in the mattress, his body and mind too light to care with anything else. A moviment next to him makes him realize that John lays down next to him, fainting too. 

A good laugh starts on his throat. He just had sex with John, and it was amazing. And it seems John liked it too.

With all strength he has Roger rolls a bit, to see John’s face. He’s catching some air, eyes closed, his chest raising up and down fast.

Maybe John feels the blue eyes on him, because he says “Give me a couple of minutes so I can go.”

Roger frowns, intrigued. “What do you mean ‘go’?”

“I guess you want to sleep. Sleep alone.”

“I do want to sleep, but you can sleep here with me.” After that John opens his eyes and look to the blond, and the latter smiles. “It’s not like I will kick you out of my house after this _incredible_ shag.” Yes, Roger gave emphasis in that word.

John smiles, relaxed. “I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“Please, stay.” The drummer wanted to say he’d love to sleep on his arms, but it’d be too cheesy, and he doesn’t want to scare John.

“You’re begging again.” Teases the brunet, raising his hand to squeeze Roger’s cheek.

“I won’t reply that because I have cum on my belly and ass and I did enjoy it.” Says Roger, winking at him. And Roger gets up the bed. “I will have a bath. Feel free to join me.” Roger walks to his bathroom, and he smiles when he hears the sound of John getting up of the bed too.

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a new project coming soon :)

Normally Roger doesn’t like mornings. Getting up early from his warm bed is a nasty task that he only does when it’s extremely needed to. But today is a day he really needed to.

The blond wanted to make a decent breakfast to him and John. Of course, after decades of not knowing how to bowl a freaking egg, now he knows some things, so at least some tea and toast he could provide to them.

He feels the brunet’s arms around his waist, a stupid smile wearing his lips when he remembers the night he just had. Roger kissed John, and at the same night they had sex. It’s like winning the lotery to the Queen drummer. Heaven to him is this, waking up with John next to him, warm skin and smelling good, sharing a bed after giving pleasure to each other.

With extra care, Roger take John’s hand to release himself of the brunet’s grip. He looks to the bass player, and he looks asleep, so he moves to get up the bed. But in a second two hands hold his waist and pushes him back, making the blond shout, getting back to the same place.

“Someone is running away from me.” John’s voice is humourous.

“I’d need to that.” Smiles Roger. “I was just getting us breakfast.”

The drummer feels kisses on his neck and rolls over, to face John. The cutest smile is on the brunet’s lips, and he’s sure he can get used to see it every time he wake up.

“Good morning.” Greets the yonger man.

“Very good morning.” Roger moves closer, kissing John’s lips.

Roger never cared about morning breath, and now that he finally can kiss the love of his life he definetely won’t care. He sucks John’s lips with passion, carefully holding his face, humming during the motion. Water, food, music and those kisses are everything that Roger can ask for at this time, and the blond can feel John is liking too, gluing their bodies (they’re both only wearing pants) and rutting his covered cock on Roger’s.

At no time the innocent morning kiss is already a hard making out session, with hands and tongues moving fast on the other’s body, and Roger can feel he’s getting hard already.

“You look so hot to eat.” Murmurs John, landing a hand on Roger’s ass and squeezing.

“But you can always try to eat.” Breathes out the drummer, smirking.

His ass is still a bit sore and sensitive, but the vision of John’s tongue over him is too temptive to not give a shot.

The bassist bit his lip and takes down Roger’s pants, letting him fully naked in the bed, and starts to plaint wet kisses all over the drummer’s belly, sometimes his teeth marking the other’s skin. The delicate hands touching Roger don’t match with the naughty lips running on the blond’s waist line and then going up some inchs, just to going down again.

Roger spreads his legs, trying to make the brunet focus on the point, but he keeps the slow teasing.

“Are you trying to make me beg again, aren’t you?” gasps the older man.

John looks up, with a cocky smile. “Perhaps.”

“Fuck, Deaky, if you don’t lick me up right now, I’ll-”

But Roger doesn’t need to finish his threat, because John’s mouth goes down to the drummer’s hole, running the tip of his tongue between the cheeks, trying to not ache. Roger let out a sufferable whimper, a sharpy shiver running his spine. The hot saliva hisses in the pulsing hole, but is pleasable enough to Roger beg John to continue.

John lays down properly, using his hands to spare the cheeks, for better access. The brunet gives gentle but yet strong licks, seeing the shake Roger’s legs make when the brunet’s tongue to wet the skin. In a second the licking gets faster, having the care to not be too rough in the still too pinky hole. 

Roger puts his fist on his mouth, to not moan loudly, but he feels a hand pushing his arm away, and John says “No-no, Rog. I want to hear you.” and he puts his mouth on Roger’s ass again, brushing the lips against it, and the blond gives up, crying out the bassist’s name.

The drummer can feel his hole pulsing against the contact, gasping with the estimulation, and John doing a great job with his tongue, and Roger can feel that he won’t take much longer, and feeling a bit ashamed to coming untouched, but the bassist is proving he’s good to do whatever he wants with Roger’s body. The blond feels John squeezing his tights during the licking, and the rubbing makes him whimp.

“Oh, John, fuck.” gasps Roger, a needy tone that makes a proud smile appears at the brunet’s lips. “You’re amazing, _fucking amazing_. I –”

But the drummer forgets when he’s about to say when he heard Freddie’s voice in the moment the flat door is open. “Roger Meddows Taylor, I need details of –”

That’s just seconds between the voice being heard and the Queen front man reach the bedroom door, leaving just few moments to the pair realize they can be caught in action. So quickly John stops what he’s doing and grabs the bed sheets and covers they two. 

In a second Roger feels the sheets covering his waist and the next second Freddie is getting in the bedroom, with a light smile on his face, and the singer chokes when he sees the rhythm section in bed, seeing in the distance John’s cheeks red as a tomato. Behind Freddie is Brian, giggling.

“Wow. You guys are fast.” Freddie comments, with a cocky smile. “I hope you had a good time.”

“I was having a good time until you two appear.” Roger can’t muffle his frustration. 

“You can’t kick us out twice, mate.” says Brian, amused.

Freddie just walks to the bed and sits next to Roger with a happy smile. “I’m really glad you two are getting along. I mean, I was _dying_ of hiding this secret...”

“That you weren’t hiding that well.” Whispers John, loud enough to Roger hear, making the drummer laughs.

“...and you two are prefect together! I’m so happy that you found each other.” Freddie has watery eyes.

Roger looks to the bass player, and a cheesy smile grows on his lips. “Me too, Freddie.”

“Now I need to warn you!” Freddie raises his voice while he whips a tear away from his face. And in a second he’s with a serious look, staring at the brunet. “John, if you break Roger’s heart, I’ll kick your ass!” and in the next moment Freddie looks to the drummer. “Roger, if you break John’s heart, I’ll kick your ass!”

The other three laugh, but Roger and John assure to the front man they will take care of each other. The blond knew Freddie isn’t joking; he’ll kick any ass that can hurt a friend of him.

It’s one of the many things Roger always missed of Freddie: his sense of protection. It didn’t matter what it takes, he always was there for his friend. Anyone that could get into Freddie’s friends group could be considered themselves lucky, because the man knew the meaning of the word friendship and did it. 

It didn’t matter if you were poor, rich, pretty, ugly, man, woman, black, asian, white, straight or not. Freddie looked at your soul, and this one didn’t have any distinction. He always helped his friends, even he needed to go to the other side of the Earth to it. He’s a true friend and Roger had a lifetime luck to be his friend.

“Now let’s get up and have breakfast together!” Freddie claps and lifts the sheets that’s covering the other two. “Roger, you’re naked!”

“I said I was having a good time.” Smirked the blond.

“Let’s give them a time to put some clothes, Freddie.” Brian says. “But, please, not much long time, mates. Or you will die of fucking yourselves too much.”

The guitarist and the singer get out the bedroom, and Roger leans to John, to give a long peck on his lips, cupping the younger man’s cheek with delicacy.

“They ask to not take so long.” Remembers the brunet, after the kiss.

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?” shoots out Roger, a shining glance to the other.

John opens his mouth, clearly surprised by the asking. But to the drummer it’s clear as the day: he doesn’t want to wait for anything. He waited too much.

“It’s too early, Roger.” Mentions John.

“It’s almost ten. Isn’t that early.” Jokes Roger.

“It’s too early, Roger.” He insists.

Of course is early, at least for this John. He didn’t have to spend his entire life dreaming and hoping for this fucking moment, just like Roget did. Yeah, they kissed for the first time last night, and minutes later they’re already in the mattress, fucking themselves. But is this how is the seventies?

“For me isn’t.” claims Roger, grabbing John’s hand. “I want to ask you since the moment I put my eyes on you, so I’m actually a bit late.”

John bits his own lip, looking indecided.

“Look, I will keep my promise, just as I said to Freddie. I won’t break your heart, Deaky.”

He means it. Roger can’t think in a reason for him break John’s heart on purpose. The only thing he wants is to make him smile more and more.

“You’re jumping too many steps, Taylor.” Says John.

“I’d jump to the final stage for you, Deacon.” Smirks Roger.

The brunet buffs while he rolls his eyes, but he’s amused. An anxious burning appears on Roger’s stomach. Oh, fuck, what if he was indeed early?

“Ok, I accept to be your boyfriend.” And John just says this and Roger’s heart jumps, making the blond glue his lips on John’s again. “But eitherway we need to be careful, okay? For the obvious reasons.”

Roger nodded, the sound of his heart racing on his ears. John said yes to him! That’s the most blessed 24 hours of his life!

Maybe the bassist feels that Roger wants a proper celebration, because he gets up and goes look for his clothes, and says to the blond to do the same, getting out the room fully dressed.

With a big smile, that he probably will wear for the rest of the day, Roger goes to the bathroom, feeling that he’s finally complete, and that he’ll be truly happy with the man of his dreams.

He’s so happy that he doesn’t realize that a ginger man is sitting in the bath until he says “You did it.”

Roger’s first reaction is to scream, but he hears a snap and his scream isn’t heard. Another snap and his voice, already in a normal tone, comes again. “Joe, you bastard.” He can’t even want to really get mad with the angel.

“You did it.” repeats the creature, smiling. “You finally got John.”

“I am, but it wouldn’t happen if wasn’t for you.” Roger wants to hug him, but right now it’s not a good moment to hug anyone. And then something hits on the blond. “So I won’t see you again?”

“I don’t know. Do you want to?” Joe smirks, imagining if Roger can admit that he likes of him being around.

“I mean...The hardest part is done. John is dating me now. The rest I can handle.” Winked the drummer, confident. “I guess next time we see each other is when you find the way how to have my kids back, right?”

“Then how about a ‘See you later’, right?” 

“I’d hug you, but I think you wouldn’t like to hug me naked.”

Joe giggled, flicking his hand. “I literally saw a video about your life, so see this thing” the angel pointed to his body “isn’t news for me.”

So the angel let Roger take his bath, with a promise to see him again. He passes throught the door, and just when he’s in the other side he lets a heavy sigh out his throat.

“You knew it’ll be consequences.” warned Rami, on his friend’s side.

“Can Roger handle them?” asked Joe, still unsure.

“I don’t like guessing, Joe, but the odds...” the other angel shakes his head.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapters will be soft as fuck


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be ready for a lot of fluff chapters :)

**1972**

“Not that ABBA again!” complains Roger, when he hears the first notes of the known band that John’s addicted now.

“Stop being so annoying. You liked it last night.” Comments John, starting to moving his hips according with the music beat.

“Because your moves were amazing and kinda made me forget the background song.” a dirty smile shows when Roger remembers what they did last night.

It’s a free day from uni and Queen, so John obliged Roger to clean his flat, since he lives more on his boyfriend’s than on his own. The blond wants to ask him to move in, but not today.

Since the day Roger asked John to date him, the Queen drummer’s life is a fucking dream. 

Everyday John talks more and more about him and about his life, most of things that Roger already knew about it – of course – but it didn’t make him stop the brunet to say them. He loves to see the entusiasm John put on his childhood stories, and they spend days and nights exchanging experiences they had before they met each other.

Queen was still in baby steps; Roger knew they only got a hit two years from now, and even knowing that, his anxiety of doing things makes him want to jump to the fun part, where they start to record albums and do music videos, to live the fuzz they had. But he knew it wouldn’t be any good to speed things. But he liked to discover the little joys during this early years: the laughs during rehearsals, the small talks while drinking cheap beer in not-so-nice pubs, how they all have dreams that Roger already know they would reach.

Between uni and the band, Roger still had the clothing store, and sometimes John liked to spend the afternoons there, the blond dragging him to the back of the store to making out with him, enjoying every second of those kisses.

“Do you never get tired of kissing me?” asks John, his hands around Roger’s neck, amused.

“Never.” the blond gives a little bite on his lips, just continuing the kiss.

Roger remember how hot-headed he was when he was young, and how he treated his girlfriends that time, arguing and discussing with them about small things, and he really didn’t want to do the same with John – even that it’s like a second skin for him. So everytime he sees John with a weird face or too quiet after a band meeting he likes to ask how he was and what he’s thinking, to make the bassist feel himself heard. They spend hours talking and trying to understand each other.

Brian once said it’s quite annoying how much they’re with each other. “My girlfriend can’t see you or else she’ll want to discuss the relationship too.”

“I thought you’re the one who likes to discuss the relationship, Brian.” jokes Freddie.

There’s still something Roger has trouble to say out loud, not because he didn’t want too – those three words are ready to be spilled out since ever – but because he knows his boyfriend, and John can freak out if he isn’t ready yet.

The drummer had a lot of moments that he wanted to say that he loved John. When they took a bath together after their first time, when he asked to date him, when John baked his favorite cake, when he pushed a guy who made fun of his “femenine looks”.

A year together and Roger can make a really long list of reason for being fully taken by the young man.

Yeah, there’s some times he misses his kids, but Joe said he’d come back when he found a way for him have his children with him in this universe, so even if he wanted to have all, he still trusts in the angel.

Right now John is moving closer to him, dancing along with the song, until he finds Roger’s body and wraps his arms around him. “Hello, you.”

“Hello, Disco Deaky.” smirks the drummer, saying the new fresh nickname. He feels John trying to make him dance with him. “Oh, no. Your thing, not mine.”

“Boo hoo.” But he still trys to dance with Roger, nesting his head his shoulder. Without his heels the brunet can do that.

“John, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“If we had lived in another universe where we met but I never said anything about my feelings for you, would you make a move on me?” Roger asked this in one breath, because he had the feeling that Joe (even he didn’t see the angel for a year) could take your voice.

It’s something that sometimes appears on the blond’s head. He never had the chance to ask Joe, to really know if he’d have a chance with the John who made him fall for him, or if that John never felt anything for the drummer. 

John tilts his head, thinking, and after a moment he says “I guess not. You know me, I wouldn’t have courage to say something like that to you.”

“Even if I flirted to you?”

“Even. Besides, I’d never believe that you could like me in that way.”

Sometimes John makes a joke or two about it, of how ugly he feels around Roger and how he doesn’t think he’s good enought to the blond. It’s unbearable to Roger to hear him, when he thinks how doomed he is for this man.

“Hey.” Roger calls him out, making John to look at him. “You’re so fucking handsome that takes my breath away. Every fucking day. Don’t forget that.” Roger gives him a quick peck.

“I love you, you know that?” John smiles, touching his nose against Roger’s.

Something really warm inside Roger fills him up. A feeling that he always feels when his eyes are on John, but right now is ten times higher. His body exudes what he’s locking for so long, like he starts to really live since he first found this pair of emeralds. A colour that hunted his dreams years and years, and now it’s part of his reality.

The sound of these words on John’s mouth is nice, just like Roger imagined, for some many days, in some many dreams. 

Maybe the silence of Roger is misunderstood, because John straights up, biting his own lip. “Did...Did I say too soon?”

The blond laughs, the hilarity of the other’s question mixing with the tears of joy. Roger puts his hands on John’s cheeks, caressing them to after kiss the brunet with passion, the younger man accepting, so used to Roger sucking his lower lip in the first move, being in sync in every motion.

“Sometimes I forget how lucky I am for having you, Deaky.” whispers Roger, after the kiss. “I love you so much, ok? It’s never too soon.”

The Queen drummer sees a cute shining on John’s eyes, a fonding smile showing up.

 


	22. Chapter 22

The rehearsal was cancelled when Roger called to Freddie and Brian and said that John was with a cold. The brunet said it’s silly and he could go to the rehearsal, but his legs got weak and he almost fell. So the Biology student said (“because I know more about this shit than you”) he must rest and he’d take care of him.

“Roger, I’m not that sick.” John complaines, but in that moment he sneezes three times in a row.

“Imagine if you are.” Roger rolls his eyes, amused.

Freddie and Brian visited them, Freddie holding a natural medicine his mother always used with his family when they got sick, assuring it cures anything. The smell is horrible, but Roger says John will take it, even that now the brunet is looking at him with puppy eyes.

“You spoil him too much, blondie.” Teased Freddie, smiling and watching John resting his head in Roger’s shoulder.

“I think you’re jealous because you don’t have a boyfriend.” Joked Brian, making Freddie open his mouth in mocking shock.

Even that Freddie is now with Mary Austin his bandmates all knew in their hearts that Freddie loves her more as a friend than as a lover, and Roger knew that Freddie should clarify that with her soon, or else she still would piss them off in this universe.

“Why? Do you want date me, Brimi?” Freddie winks to the curly-haired man.

“Tempting, but unfortunally I don’t fancy dicks.” Smiled Brian, politely.

Freddie and Brian’s friendship was really unique. They both have a lot of emotions to deal, to cope and to spill out, and sometimes they spended hours and hours talking about their relationships, one giving and taking advance for another. They’re both a mess when comes to the heart business, but they always had each other to talk about it, not matter where or when.

They’re the shoulder they ran to cry. Freddie made a beautiful song about how he craved for finding a love after a long discussion with the guitarist. The front man was the only person Brian could hear without complaining, even that sometimes Brian could say that Freddie was being fucking ridiculous. Brian took care of Freddie like a son, the singer accepting the role gladly. In the best or the worse of the times, they were there, always giving to the other support and affection.

Brian had a tought time to accept Freddie’s illness, and he thought he wouldn’t handle living anymore when his best friend was gone. He tried to convince Mary to took care at least of one of Freddie’s cats, but it’s in vain. Sometimes he drove to the Garden Lodge, just to stop by and admire the house, remembering all the good times he had there with his friend.

They leave the flat after a afternoon full of laughs, letting John a bit more happy. Roger knows how much John hates to be without doing nothing. He said once that his brain was made to work, and he only allows it to rest is when he’s sleeping.

The brunet stands up from the couch, and Roger asks “Where you’re going?”

“I need to do a work from uni. It’s for Friday.” Replies John, his voice sounding nasal.

“You have two days to do it. Now come here and sit.” Orders the blond, serious.

“Rog! I need to do my paper, or else I’ll get a low score.”

“But if you don’t rest you will die and none of your scores will matter.” 

“You’re a bit dramatic, you realize this, right?” 

Roger walks to John just to hold his hand and take him back to the couch, the brunet whining in the process. John lays down, Roger covering him with a blanket and he crouches down, planting a kiss on John’s forehead.

Even sick, mad at him and pounting he’s adorable, and Roger takes a moment to admiring his boyfriend.

A year passed but he’s still excited to thinking of John as ‘his boyfriend’. He’ll never get tired of it.

Roger always was a bit protective with John, worried when he got sick and he spent the night jn the hospital with the brunet when John broke his arm. But now they’re together his sense of care was way higher, and he tries a lot to not suffocate his boyfriend, even when it’s just a cold, as now. 

As the angel Joe said once to him, that’s his chance to make everything right, so he wants to make this chance the most perfect as possible.

He still has a lottle of trouble to speak while looking into that pair of eyes. So beautiful and wicked, easy to encharm anyone around him, but Roger’s lucky enough this time to look at this beauty when he wake up and before he sleep.

“I just want you to be with me as long as you can.” The flashback of the day Brian gave him the news of John’s passing crosses his mind, and he shoves it quickly. “I only allow you to die when you’re old and bald, got it?”

“And you will be there with me to make sure I won’t die before this?” John’s eyes start to be heavy, and John’s blinking lazily, but he’s still smiling.

“Of course. That’s the plan.” Roger puts him a hand on John’s face and kisses him.

The drummer can taste the medicine John took, and it’s more horrible than the smell. Roger wants to deepen the kiss, but he realizes John’s lips aren’t moving, so he pulls away. John’s sleeping.

Roger just gives a little peck on his lips, covering the brunet again. “I hope we can be together until the end of my living days, Deaky. But it’s only up to you.” He combs John’s hair, and he sees the bassist humming. “It never was my choice, but always yours.”

Above, feet and feet up, Joe’s watching the lovely scene, missing to be there with his favorite couple.

 


	23. Chapter 23

**1973**

 

Just as Roger remembers at the first time, the recording of Queen’s first album was a pure chaos. A lot of ideas from Freddie, every day coming to the studio with a new song, a new thing that Brian or Roger or John could do. After some days persuading the bass player, Freddie can make the brunet singing with him in a really elaborated song, even that John said many times how much he dislike his own voice.

“Roger, help me out here.” Freddie begs, when the bass player asked to erase the tape with his singing part.

“You’re doing amazing, love.” Assures the drummer, squeezing his shoulder.

“I’m not as good as you three.” John says, tired.

“You’re pretty good, okay? Besides, after this part you have that killing solo, right?” Roger looks to him, who nods. “This track will be bloody awesome.”

“I guess.” The bunet shruggs, beaten.

“But I’m damn sure. Now let’s do this!” cheers Freddie, with his contagious smile.

In the end, when the song is made, they four hear it, and John accepts that his part in ‘Liar’ is good, Roger shouting that isn’t just good, but the best part of the track, the bass player giggling when Freddie coughes after the comment, the drummer joking that Freddie is jealous because he’s not praising him.

“I’m not jealous.” the main singer flicks his wrist. “You’re just saying this to have your cock sucked tonight.”

“And maybe he will.” says John, in a low tone.

At that night Roger had, indeed, his cock sucked by his boyfriend. John knew how to use wisely his mouth, with words, smiles and moviments. The drummer was still gasping after the orgasm he just had, wiping the drops of sweat out of his forehead.

John sits again in the bed, laying down next to Roger, the brunet giving him a innocent smile.

There’s a storm out there, but in that room it’s good enough.

The rain outside makes Roger remember how Felix and Rory, when they were little, liked to hear him tell spooky stories when it’s raining. The memory crosses fast his mind, but he lets it go.

“Only you to make me put out my dick in a cold weather like that.” Smirks Roger, wrapping himself on John, to provide warmness for both of them

“You weren’t complaining about it five minutes ago.” retorted John.

“And I will never.” 

It’s late, and the blond’s tired, so he sees himself getting more cozy in the bed, and his eyes are heavier than before. But before he’s already sleeping, Roger hears John calling him. “Babe?”

“Yes, honey.” Roger looks up, and John is frowning. He looks concerned about something.

“I’m just wondering...Do you think I deserve being in Queen?” John looks into his eyes, fear glowing there.

“Are you thinking about this with my dick on your mouth?”

This makes John roll his eyes, amused. Roger is just trying to clear the mood.

A lot of facts made John think, for a handful times, he’s not worth to be the Queen bassist: while Roger, Freddie and Brian were friends for some time, John was the outsider, having a couple of years to feel himself at home with the other three; he always had trouble to write songs – he never was good to express himself with words – while Freddie and Brian were song trains in full speed; and he can’t sing in a band the other members were well good singers.

It took some years, and a lot of patience, to John accept sing in the gigs, even if it’s for backup. It could count in one hand the times someone could hear John’s voice singing with all lungs during concerts. He’s quite embarassed when he got away and sang loudly during Live Aid and blushed hard at Budapest. Freddie loved who much the bass player let his heart go bigger, and always encouraged the brunet to sing.

His insecurity was covered by the ‘shy bass player’ type, and John let the stereotype suit him. The anxiety was just a consequence of his thoughts of never being good enough to be in a famous band. Like he’d never fit in.

But, deep down all this, John still thought that Queen could be alright without him, and that’s what’s on his mind when he quit, along other things. Other bass players passed after John’s retirement, but Brian and Roger always said that no one could reach John’s perfection.

Even with all adversities, and despite his ideas, John Deacon was the right fourth piece for Queen.

And now Roger had to assure that to the man of his life.

“Where is this coming from?” asks Roger while caressing John’s cheek, cold as the wind outside.

“I don’t know. Maybe recording ‘Liar’ today made me think about it.” Admits the brunet.

“Are you sure you never thought about it before?” the drummer looks at him intensily, and John shows a guilty smile.

“I thought about it before.” Confessed him.

“Deaky, my love. You’re as important as me, or Freddie or even Brian.” They laughed a bit. It’s like their thing tease the guitar player. “You play the bass like no one else. You’re the other half of this rhythm section, and only the drums can be enough to make the rhythm.”

“Yeah, but...”

“If you don’t like singing that’s okay. This can be the only song you will participate in Queen, but you can do other things too, like composing. I’ll be glad to see other things besides Freddie and Brian crying about how life is miserable.” Roger smiles when he sees that John looks happier.

“But I don’t have any writing.”

“Take your time. It will come when you’re ready.” And Roger moves his hand, until he finds something and smirks. “But right now you’re ready for something else.”

John gives him a devious smile and takes him into a kiss. Their bodies move together, squeezing and rutting against the other, the brunet possessively sucking Roger’s lower lip, a whimp being heard during the action. John reaches Roger’s hands, tangling them.

“I love you.” John gasps during kisses.

“I love you more. Just let me show you.” Breaths Roger, putting his legs around John’s waist.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys don't have any idea how is hard for me to write fluff


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The writer is with a writing block, so updates will be slow, sorry

Queen’s album release party was small. Of course, it’s their first album, they weren’t famous yet, and Roger knew some people wouldn’t like their music at first, and they only would give some recognition after some big hits. It’d take more years to Roger feel the fame again, but he’s comfortable with it.

The party only is for their families, some staff from Trident and some musicians managed by the same place. Freddie and Brian are beyond enthusiastic, John a bit shy and nervous – as usual – and Roger is just trying to enjoy the part. Even the best part he can’t. 

“I want to hold your hand and kiss you so badly but I can’t.” the drummer whispers on John’s ear, groaning in the end.

“We can have our own celebration when we come to your place.” Whispers back the brunet, smiling coyly.

Yes, a lot of after-party sex. Amazing.

“Stop calling ‘your place’ like you almost didn't live there.” teases him, taking a sip of the cheap wine the company bought to them.

“It’s only gonna be ‘our place’ when you ask me to move to there.” John looks to Roger, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Roger was waiting for a better moment, sure, to ask that. Maybe after their 2nd anniversary, but why not tonight? “Do you want to?” questions the blond.

“That’s the most terrible asking ever, Rog.”

“Dears, can you two, please, not having a lovers argue right now?” asks Freddie, behind and between them, touching with delicacy their shoulders.

“There’s no arguing here, Freddie.” Says John. “Is there, Roger?”

“No at all, _lovie_.” The Queen drummer shakes his head. “Just John saying that he’ll move to my place.”

“Finally. Then I won’t need to pick him at the other side of the town.” Brian speaks. “The photographer is coming, now you three shut up and smile.”

The photographer for the party takes some photos of the band and walks away, and for some reason when Brian said ‘smile’ the blond remembered that his friend was the first person that took a photo of Lola, when he and Anita came to visit the newborn.

He let the moment vanish of his mind.

Above the party, Joe is watching everything biting his own lip, and he felt a warm hand squeezing his shoulder. Gwil looks at him, with a sad smile. “The moment is coming, my friend,” and feeling the angel wants to ask something he adds “and you’re not allowed to interfere.”

•••

Roger’s fanciest trousers is on the floor, because John didn’t want to waste time to take everything off. He just wanted to push Roger against a wall and fuck him from behind, so he did.

The thrusts are intense, and after half an hour, John doesn’t lose the rhythm. He just bumps on the blond, that only moans, in a well needy noise, crying John’s name to fuck him harder. So John just did.

And the brunet hisses when he feels Roger pulling his hair strongly, trying to make the other knows how he’s tearing him apart, in the best way. In response John’s sharp teeth encounters Roger’s shoulder. That probably will become something John do more times because the drummer exclaimed after that.

John starts to swear, a thing that Roger discovered that turns him on very much and all the things the bass player usually doesn’t speak he uses in their sex, depreciating the blond, and Roger only can feel his cock pulsing and brushing in the wall.

Roger collapses when John finds his testicules and hits there multiples times. Minutes after he feels cum filling him up too.

Now the only thing they want is a hot bath so they could sleep peacefully. Both of them inside the bath, Roger resting his head on John’s chest while the brunet gently drop water over his neck and rub his shoulders.

“This one of the best days of my life, you know that?” Roger speaks lazily, too happy to even open his eyes. “Queen releasing the first album, a great sex when we came home, and you’re giving me a massage.” Roger turns around so he can look to John. “You’re too good to me.”

“The same as you are to me.”

“ _No_.” Roger grips John’s hand, and he feels tears burning his eyes. “I’ll never be good enough for you the way you are to me.” And with the other hand Roger caresses the brunette's face, smiling passionately. “I can try, but you always will be better than me.”

In the end, the more insecure one between the two is Roger. Even accepting the role of Leo brandmark person, the drummer has his own insecure about their relationship, about what the future has for them.

And how he can have their kids without affect his relationship with John.

“You’re too drunk, love.” Teased John, rolling his eyes.

“Drunk in love for you, hot stuff.” Roger leans in to kiss John.

•••

A clip is what they need to make Queen be known to everyone in England. They do their gigs, they are on the radio, but they need to make something more visual, and Freddie has everything on his mind. The outfits, how the camera will positionate, and more importantly which song they’ll perform.

“Why I’m not impressed that your song will be our first music video?” jokes Roger, smoking his cigarette. He’d be a liar if he said he never missed smoking. But he did for his ex-wife and he didn’t regret it.

Roger’s just humour himself and Freddie, because he knew ‘Liar’ is the historical Queen’s first music video.

“If you want to have a song to turn into a music video you need to contribute more for the band writing, dear.” Smiled proudly Freddie. Roger knows how the frontman always liked to barg himself of his hard-working mind, specially after he wrote a song in ten minutes during a bath.

“Modern Times Rock n Roll.” the blond pointed.

“It’s not even two minutes long, blondie!”

Roger giggles, remembering all the hits he’ll do. His hand itches to write Radio Gaga and A Kind of Magic, but he knows he’ll have to wait for the right time.

“Roger...Can I ask you something?” Freddie looks sheepish, and the drummer gets alert.

“Yes. Always.” Says the blond.

“Do you think...” the older one looks around, to see there’s everyone in the streets to hear them. “Do you think we’ll be successful? I want your honest opinion.”

That’s the thought that crossed every Queen member’s mind, even Freddie’s, with his untouchable cheerful mood. The early days were hard, playing in small places to get Queen be known, but always wondering to fill arenas and stadiums. Even John, the most retracted one, did want Queen to be successful, but he never imagined, in his childish dreams, they’d be that successful. At some point they knew how Beatles felt like.

Being famous was a double-edged knife. They wanted the fame, the glamour, the recognition. But they didn’t want the paparazzi, the fake news, the persecution. Roger tried to enjoy the good part, but he knew Freddie's know the bad part of the business.

Roger knew damn well they’d be famous, and how far they would go. With people screaming their names, crying their hearts out to get a hug. The band would never forget the time they got stunned with the audience singing ‘Love of my Life’ acapella for the first time.

“I’m not even a bit worried with it, Freddie.” Roger gives his friend a shining smile. “We four are impecable.”

“I know we are, but you know that to survive we need to have luck too.” Freddie bits his own lip, and then, with a overdramatic move, he puts his hands over his head. “Taylor, we need to be successful! I don’t know how to do anything else but sing and perform!”

“I’m not far away, mate. I’m just getting my masters at Biology, but I don’t see myself doing anything else than playing my drums.”

He sees the man worried about his future, and he wants to help, and only one thing comes to his mind.

But when he turns again to Freddie to assure him Queen will be a famous band, he sees Freddie closing his eyes in a weird way, just to open up again and smile widely to him. “Hi, Roger. Did you miss me?”

Roger shouts when he heard Joe’s voice coming out of Freddie’s mouth. “Joe? Is that you?”

“Yes. How are you?” Joe claps his Roger’s arm. The blond feels the warmness the angel usually exudes.

“I’m okay. It’s been a while. What are you doing here?”

Joe makes Freddie stand up and put his arms on his hips. “You know why I’m here, naughty boy.” And now Freddie’s pointing his finger to the drummer. “You’re about to change the future.”

“I’m just trying to tranquilize, Freddie.” Roger won’t say out loud, but he knows Joe knows how scared he’s with him using Freddie as a ventriloquist.

The angel makes Freddie smile – in a way that Roger never saw his friend do – and says “Don’t worry. He’s not hurt and he’ll be back as soon as I give you my message.”

“Which is...?”

Freddie starts to walk in front of Roger, his hands on his hips. The blond contemplates it quietly, waiting for the angel to beginning the conversation. But Joe is lingering and lingering, and Roger looks at him, trying to get his attention, but without success. A verbal warning it is, then.

“Joe? Can you please, say what it is?” Roger’s voice is almost anxious.

“Sorry, I was just running into Freddie’s mind. There’s tons of songs he thought and he never released! It’s insane!” and Freddie giggles.

“Oh my god.” Groaned the drummer. “I missed you, but not this part. Go straight to the point.”

“Awwww, you did miss me!” Freddie tilts his head, and when he sees Roger rolling his eyes he stops. “Ok, to the point. You’re about to change the future. Telling Freddie you’ll be famous one day.”

“No, I’m about to help him to wait for the future. He doesn’t need to waste nights fearing that his dream will never come true.” But the blond saw the angel shaking his head.

“Freddie needs to pass all he passed to be the Freddie Mercury everyone loves and respects.”

“So you’re saying...that I should accept that him suffer? Dying for AIDS isn't painful enough for him so he needed to get all this shit he’ll get?”

“Freddie is Freddie because what he’d been through.”

“I would rather that my friend don’t have to pass through all this sorrow than being famous!”

Roger’s ready to go away when he feels a strong grip on his wrist. He looks around and sees Freddie looking seriously to him. “You being here is already changing all Queen’s future. Me talking to you about it is already changing the future. You having a relationship with someone you shouldn’t have had in the primer universe is already changing your and John’s future.” Freddie pulls Roger by his wrist, making the blond get closer to him. “But ask Freddie if he wanted to pass every deception, every break-up, every bashing and every moment of sadness just to be Freddie Mercury. You already know the answer.”

“How many universes I grow older with John?”

“Millions.”

“And in this one?”

Freddie stays silent for some moments. “You only will know when you grow older.”

Roger sighs. Sometimes he forgets he never has straight answers with Joe.

“Just don’t forget that you’re already changing something with every step you do in this universe. But you can’t change another main story.” Freddie shows a sad smile. “I think we’ll see each other again soon.”

“You in your own body?” Roger jokes.

“Perhaps.”

And Freddie closes his eyes strangely again, to open up suddenly. Roger looks at him, and the singer looks aside twice, feeling himself weird. “That’s odd, Rog. I feel like I just took a nap.” He touches Roger’s arm softly. “Did I miss something?”

Roger’s heart gets thinner, like a big hand smashing it. What a devious angel he has. “No, Freddie.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like Rock in Rio 85, but I love to praise this stupid country (only we can make fun of Brazil, remember that)


	25. Chapter 25

From now on Roger starts to be afraid of everything and everyone. It’s like in a minute he will see or hear Joe out of nowhere, screaming with him of how he can’t say a word about the future. And the angel knows weird ways to show up.

When Roger’d say to Brian to take care of his health – or even he could have hepatitis – Joe’s face appeared at his bread, making him scream and Brian got weird around him; when Freddie said about how great Trident was to them and they should renew the contract, Roger almost yelled at him, saying how bad they’d be if they stayed with Trident, but Joe cut out his voice, the blond is talking but not saying anything, Freddie asking if the drummer was having a seizure.

But the worst was when Roger and John came earlier to the studio, and started to jam a little, just they two, and John said he’d love to have a kid to teach him how to play the bass, and his cheeks got red when he looked to Roger.

They never talked about kids since they're together. Of course the drummer always saw John’s eyes shining when he sees a kid at the streets, and children liked to smile and wave to the brunet, and he would reply them with a warm smile. The man was a natural father; naturally, he had six children, all of them very attached to their dad.

Seeing Roger grinning to him, John asks “What? Did you not imagine a little Roger playing drums?” 

The blond’s smile breaks when he remembers Rufus, who’s the one that always asked him to learn how play to drum, the Queen drummer getting proud to teach the boy, and at some point his son started to play with Queen, especially when he needed to sing some songs with Brian.

His blue eyes get watery, and John looks worried to him. “Rog, what happened? Did I say something stupid?”

“No at all.” Roger weakly smiles, tearing away the tears. “I was just imagine our lives. I’d love to have kids with you. Eleven, if you want to.”

“Wow.” John gasps. “That’s a lot.”

“That’s a soccer team, and I want that.” 

John and Roger are making out when Freddie and Brian get in the studio, hemming to show their presence.

“I don’t like to interrupt young love, but we need to practice, or our first tour will be a disaster!” exclaims Freddie.

•••

It’d the second gig of the tour, and the crowd isn’t the best, but at least they clap after every song, and they like to interact, especially with Freddie, that always has eyes on him. Roger missed that: seeing his friend in action, doing everything to hypnotize everyone around with his presence. And almost every time he could make it.

The thing that isn’t delighting is hearing a clock tictac-ing on his head, remembering him that Freddie will stop singing and breathing someday, and that he can’t do anything to stop this shit.

He needs to lock himself in a bathroom box when Freddie finishes the gig with a wide smile and yelling in the backstage “What a wonderful feeling, darlings! We’re about to rule the world!”

Roger can name a handful of people who deserves to die – even he knows he can’t wish for anyone’s death – instead of Freddie. The singer was an amazing person and helped so much a lot of people, specially because he never tried to hide his orientation, inspiring his gays fans and friends, Roger included.

Then why a person who had so much to give to the world needed to pass away before the middle age?

By the time John finds out Roger the blond was at the bar, holding a bottle of vodca and filling his own glass. “Rog, I was looking for you. You disappeared out of nowhere.”

The drummer looks to John and then drinks the glass of vodca in one go, making John frown.

“Slow down, Roger. Is something happening? You look stressed lately.” John sits next to Roger, eyeing him with worry.

Of course John would notice. His lover was always so clever, with this shining eyes gliching at everywhere. Roger smiles with adoration and touches the bassist’s neck, but John tears away his hand.

“Hey, we’re in public, remember?” John’s voice is hurry, and he looks around to see if anyone saw something.

“If you’re with Veronica you wouldn’t need to care with that.” Murmured Roger, under his breath.

“What?” the brunet doesn’t hear what he said.

“I’m just tired. Let’s go to Brian and Freddie’s booth, babe.” Roger says, slapping softly John’s cheek and handing his bottle, going where the others two are.

The rest of the night was with Freddie telling funny stories to everyone, and Roger noted how the singer was feeling himself at home. He’s entertaining people, and that’s what he did best, and sometimes they exchanged looks and smiles. From time to time Roger felt the need to interrupt the anedote, telling the ‘true version of the facts’.

As the hours run, more drunk Roger got, starting to laugh more and to flirt with anyone. Harmlessly, of course, because he knew he wouldn’t move a finger on anyone but John. The bass player was sitting next to him, hip with hip, legs pressed on the other, and Roger risked some times to squeeze John’s thigh under the table, the younger man’s face not giving away for the rest of the table.

Roger’s shittfaced when they understood it’s time to go back to the hotel, and he needs to be carried by his boyfriend, who doesn’t let the moment vanish his humour.

“What a wonderful date, don’t you think, sunshine?” whispers John, in an amused tone. He knows how much Roger hates when John speaks on his ear ‘you’re my sunshine’ over the years.

“Just the best for my Deaky.” The drummer only handle to speak this, before he leaned forward and stars to barf.

John holds his long hair while he’s putting his guts out. After that Roger gets more sleepy, and more heavy for John to walk along.

“Just a few more steps, Rog.” Guarants the brunet, caressing Roger’s hair.

When they arrive at their room, John makes sure Roger don’t sleep before getting a bath. Obviously the blond whines and shakes his head, saying he doesn’t want to, but John obliges him anyway. He’s almost fully wet after helping his boyfriend to bath and he allows Roger to sleep only on his underwear, because he isn’t moving anymore.

John cuddles the drummer, connecting his hands, and he hears a lazy humming from Roger.

“Thank you for taking care of me.” Roger babbles, half awake.

“Just try to not get this drunk the whole tour, alright?” after a nod John kisses behind the blond’s ear, and accepts himself to sleep too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things starts to get complicated...


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost two months after, but here I am

**1974**

  
Queen was already recording its second album, and they’re pretty excited with it. At least three of them were.

Roger’s spaced out most of the time, and when he’s not sleeping he’s drunk. John had some talks with the drummer, trying to be supportive, because he already saw some of his friends getting seriously ill because of the booze, and he didn’t want the same for his boyfriend. The blond’s already familiar with John’s worried expression, and his heart aches when he sees that glance, and this’s happening a lot in the last two months.

And they started to get a cycle: Roger gets drunk, sleeps almost all day, has a killing headache, finds John doing something at home, says sorry for his behavior, they talk and reconciliate, – sometimes with sex, sometimes without it – they go do something with Freddie and Brian. And the cycle restarts.

This day John doesn’t wait for Roger to get up. When the blond wakes up, he finds a note with ‘Go to the studio when you’re up. Love you, sunshine.’

Roger smiles, but after he regrets it: his head is exploding with any muscular motion.

He looks himself in the mirror and says “You can do this, Rog. You can survive this day.”

\---

When Roger gets in the studio Brian and John are excitely talking about how they can improve the sound of their guitars with some few techniques. Roger doesn’t understand much, but he’s pretty sure they’re talking about Science stuff.

Even that people liked to remember John and Brian’s relationship with the lyrics of Back Chat, they’re pretty chill with each other. With science and guitars as things on common between them, the two brunets always had something to discuss, trying as much as they could to not cross a line between their friendship.

Of course, as two men with great minds and fervent personalities, they argued about something here and there, John letting Brian win most of the times because he thought it’d be the best for the band. Brian had qualities that John envied, and John had things Brian only dreamed to have. They never liked to praise the other much, but they knew how to make the other know how much they meant to each other.

Over the years, the diss track made them laugh and John out all the anger behind them. Deep down they trusted each other badly, and like all brothers they needed to have a big fight.

During a event John said to Brian that he couldn’t be on music industry anymore, and frankly Brian’s expecting this to happen. It doesn’t mean it wasn’t painful. The lose of a partnership, that bit by bit became just memories.

“You look better, Rog.” Comments John, with a smile.

“At least this, because I’m not feeling good.” Roger groans, putting one hand over his stomach and the other on his head.

“Stop drinking and you’ll see how wonderful you’ll feel.” Recommends Brian, grinning sarcastically.

Freddie finally comes, shouting how brilliant the day is, and Brian murmurs something about ‘someone got laid yesterday’. Roger smiles seeing his friend dancing around the studio, his body shivering with the thought of ‘one day left for Freddie’. 

He catches John glancing on him, but he doesn’t mind and go to the drums.

\---

At the ride home John doesn’t speak a word with Roger – that isn’t unusual when it comes to the brunet – but the bassist looks too lost on his own thoughts. He’s also too quiet in the studio.

When they get home, Roger sees John running to their bedroom and straight to the bathroom. He hears the sound of water. Maybe John just needs a hot bath to relax.

Roger goes to the kitchen and grabs a beer. And his mind goes to earlier, with Freddie in a really good mood, singing and messing around with everyone, cheering everyone up. It looked he’s shining, moving his hands up and down, playing the piano during breaks looking for new ideas, humming while he fingered the instrument, getting deep on his own–   
“Stop drinking, Rog.” A voice’s heard.

Roger looks down and sees he already drank three bottle of beer. Roger puts the beer down.

“I want to ask you something and you need to be honest with me.” John is still only with a towel around his waist, and he sits on the couch’s arm.

“Of course, Deaky.” Roger says, turning around to look directly to the brunet.

John breathes in and out deeply three times before he asks “Are you drinking too much because of Freddie?”

Roger’s chin drops. How he found out? His hands shake with something between fear and expectation.

“I know Freddie is charming, but if I don’t want you to intoxicate yourself because you can’t handle with your crush for him and –” John looks down.

“My _what_ for _who_?” Roger frowns. He must’ve heard wrong.

“I noticed you’re started to drink more when you’re around Freddie. You barely drink when you’re at home, but you always do when you’re with our mates.”

Roger tries really hard to fight a laugh, but he can’t. He starts to laugh loudly, making John look at him with curiosity, not ashamed anymore.

Some people especulate a bunch of times about the nature of Freddie and Roger’s relationship. Jim Hutton once told him he’s kinda jealous of how good they get along. But for Roger Freddie was more a platonic soulmate that anything.

Roger walks to John and cups the brunet’s face, and he smiles. “John, my John, how can you think I could have a crush on Freddie when I have you?”

“He can be more interesting than me.” John blushes, and Roger imagines he’s embarassed to be jealous of his friend. “You get each other in a way we never will.”

“But I love you. Only you, okay?” Roger gives a long peck on John’s lips. “I know I’m exagerating with the alcohol...”

“You are, Rog.”

“And I promise you I’ll try stop, okay?”

John gives him a smile, nodding. “Okay.”

Roger moves forward again and captures John’s lips one more time, wrapping his arms around the brunet’s neck. John can feel the heat inside Roger’s mouth, investing on him over and over.

The drummer takes the other’s towel off and gets on his knees, leaving John’s mouth to put his lips on his cock.


End file.
